Self-Medicating: Creating Temporary Relief or a Long-Term Problem?
Hi there! I’m Denise G Lee, a healing and leadership coach here to help you find success and happiness. Today, I want to discuss something important: self-medication. This topic matters because many of us use self-medication to deal with life’s challenges, often without even noticing. Understanding self-medication can help you as a leader find better ways to handle your emotions and improve your well-being. First, let’s define what self-medication is.
What is Self-Medication?
Self-medication is when people use substances or activities to handle stress, pain, or other tough emotions.
It usually comes from wanting to avoid pain or discomfort. When we go through tough events like a pain-filled childhood, it is tempting to use things, activities or people to protect us from the bad feelings. But self-medication only gives short-term relief and can lead to more problems later. Next, I’ll talk about some common ways people self-medicate.
Forms of Self-Medication
Everyone thinks self-medication is just about taking pills or drinking too much, but it’s actually more than that.
Anna Lembke, MD, a professor and medical director of addiction medicine at Stanford University, has shown through her research that nearly anything in life can become a way of self-medicating—whether it’s food, online gambling, social media, or even excessive exercise. Here are some of the ways we can self-medicate.
Using Anger or Manipulating Others to Deflect Pain
Sometimes, people use anger as a shield to protect themselves from hurt feelings. Instead of facing their pain, they lash out at others.
Demi Lovato once shared, “I’m very, very good at manipulating people, and that was something I did in my disease. I would manipulate everyone around me. There were times I would just continue to lie so that everything looked okay on the outside.” This behavior can be a defense mechanism to avoid confronting their inner struggles.
Cutting or Tattooing
Some individuals hurt themselves to cope with overwhelming emotions. While this might provide temporary relief, it’s harmful in the long run.
Paris Jackson has openly shared her experiences with self-harm and emotional pain. In an episode of her Facebook Watch series, “Unfiltered: Paris Jackson and Gabriel Glenn,” she tattoos her foot while discussing her past struggles. It’s quite something, given how sensitive the foot area is—the skin is thin, and tattooing there is known to be quite painful.
During the interview, Jackson talked about how self-harm gave her a sense of control and a release of dopamine. She reflects on her complex relationship with pain, saying, “Pain is way better than numb because at least you’re feeling something.”
Eating Too Much or Too Little
Overeating or undereating can be a way to control or numb emotions. For instance, indulging in cookies, cakes, and bread might offer temporary comfort, but it doesn’t address the underlying issue.
Jane Fonda once shared, “I was in my mid-40s. I was a bulimic, and I realized if I continue with this addiction of mine, I will not be able to continue doing my life. The older you get, the more damage it does; it takes longer to recover from a binge. And it was very hard.”
Overuse of Social Media
Spending excessive time on social media can serve as a form of self-medication, offering temporary distraction rather than actual solutions to your problems. For instance, scrolling through Instagram or TikTok for hours might feel entertaining or connecting in the moment, but it doesn’t address the real issues you’re facing.
Social Media Usage Statistics
The average global user spends about 143 to 147 minutes (about 2 hours) on social media each day. Each day! And although this reflects a slight decrease from previous years, the U.S. average is around 2 hours and 16 minutes.
Breakdown of Social Media Time:
- Global Average: 143 minutes per day
- U.S. Average: 2 hours and 16 minutes per day
- Typical User: 2 hours and 23 minutes per day, making up about 35.8% of total online activity
Before you log into your favorite app, remember that while social media might offer a temporary escape, it doesn’t resolve underlying issues such as stress or anxiety.
Binge-watching TV or streaming content
TV watching is another major time sink, and it can sometimes be a form of self-medication. With so many options like Hulu, Disney+, and Netflix, it’s hard to keep up with all the ways we can stay glued to our screens.
Americans spend significantly more time watching television compared to social media, which can also be a form of self-medication. On average, we watch about 3 hours and 20 minutes of TV each day—about 36% more time than we spend on social media.
How do we find the time for that? Excessive consumption of media can be used as a distraction from real-life problems. It’s astonishing to think that we spend roughly 12% of our day engaging in passive activities like watching TV, where the content can’t even talk back to us.
Sleeping Too Much or Avoiding Sleep
Some people sleep a lot to escape from reality. For instance, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, you might stay in bed all day to avoid facing your problems. On the other hand, some people avoid sleep to keep their minds busy and prevent painful thoughts from coming up. For example, you might stay up late working or watching TV to keep your mind from wandering to issues you’d rather not think about. Both sleeping too much or not enough can be ways of avoiding dealing with your emotions.
Working Long Hours
Throwing yourself into work can be a way to avoid dealing with personal issues. For example, working 12 or more hours a day might keep you busy and distracted, but it doesn’t help you understand or address the reasons for your stress. You might feel productive, but you’re not actually solving the personal problems that are causing you stress.
Excessive gaming or internet use
Spending too much time playing video games or browsing the internet can be a way to escape reality and self-medicate emotional pain.
For example, Alex found himself playing World of Warcraft every evening. At first, it was a fun way to relax after work, but soon it became his only way to cope. Whenever he felt stressed about his job or had problems with his girlfriend, he would dive into the gaming world, where he didn’t have to deal with his real-life issues.
Alex spent all his free time gaming, avoiding thoughts about difficult feelings or situations in his life. This escape gave him a short break from reality, but it didn’t solve the real problems he was facing. Over time, his relationships with friends and family got worse, and his business suffered because he was more focused on leveling up in the game than dealing with his problems.
So if you spend all your free time gaming, you might be avoiding thinking about difficult feelings or situations in your life. This can give you a temporary break from reality, but it doesn’t solve the real issues you’re facing.
Compulsive shopping or spending
Shopping excessively can give you a quick mood boost, but it’s often just a temporary fix. For example, buying a lot of clothes or gadgets might make you feel better for a short time, but it doesn’t solve any deeper emotional problems. I’ve written more about this in a detailed article that explains how retail therapy can provide temporary relief but doesn’t address the root of the issue.
Risky sexual behavior
Engaging in unsafe sex or having multiple partners can be a way for some people to self-medicate. For instance, seeking out new partners or engaging in risky behaviors might provide temporary relief from emotional pain, but it doesn’t address the underlying issues causing the distress. This behavior can sometimes be a way to escape from or numb deep-seated feelings.
Gambling
Gambling can serve as an escape, providing a temporary thrill to mask underlying issues. This is not just a problem for certain people; it can impact anyone. Here is an article about a psychiatrist who spent over $400,000 on gambling.
Excessive exercise
Exercise is usually good for your health, but when someone uses it excessively, it can become a way to avoid dealing with their feelings. Instead of facing their emotions, they might focus on working out all the time.
For example, imagine a woman who goes to the gym for hours every day, not just to stay fit but to avoid feeling anxious or sad. Instead of addressing these emotions directly, she use intense workouts as a distraction. This might involve running for hours, lifting weights too much, or taking multiple fitness classes in a single day.
Now, I want to zoom into on one example self-medicating example that I commonly discuss with my female clients: self-medicating with baked goods, pasta, or candies. To make this information easier to digest (pardon the pun), I will introduce a lovable fictional character named Brenda the Bread Bandit.
Brenda the Bread Bandit
Let’s lighten things up with a story about Brenda the Bread Bandit.
Once upon a time in a small town called Neuroville, there lived a character named Brenda the Bread Bandit. Brenda wasn’t your typical outlaw; instead of robbing banks or stealing jewels, she had a peculiar habit of raiding bakeries and confectionery shops. Her loot of choice? Bread and sugary treats.
Brenda had a secret. Despite her carefree, jovial exterior, she was battling a deep, internal sadness. Life’s pressures weighed heavily on her, and her brain felt like a stormy sky, cloudy and gray. But Brenda had discovered something magical: every time she devoured a loaf of bread or a sweet pastry, her mood lifted, and the storm clouds in her mind seemed to part, if only for a while.
One evening, after a particularly tough day, Brenda found herself in front of the town’s grand bakery. With the precision of a seasoned thief, she snuck inside and helped herself to a mountain of freshly baked bread and sugary delights. As she feasted, Brenda felt the familiar wave of comfort wash over her.
What Brenda didn’t realize was that her brain had turned into a bustling factory. The simple sugars from the bread caused her body to release insulin. Insulin, like a diligent gatekeeper, escorted amino acids into her muscles but left tryptophan to wander freely in her bloodstream.
With no competition, tryptophan made its way to Brenda’s brain, where it transformed into serotonin, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter. Suddenly, Brenda’s brain was awash with serotonin, and she felt a warmth and happiness spread through her, like sunshine breaking through clouds.
The Sweet Science Behind Brenda’s Bread Fix: A Doctor’s Insight
Little did Brenda know, the town’s curious doctor, Dr. Neuron, had been observing her. Dr. Neuron had long suspected that Brenda’s bread thefts were more than just quirky crimes. One day, she confronted Brenda, who, in a moment of vulnerability, confessed her struggle with sadness and her discovery of the mood-lifting power of bread and sweets.
Dr. Neuron, with a twinkle in his eye, explained the science behind it. “You see, Brenda, when you eat bread and sugary treats, your body releases insulin. This insulin helps clear out other amino acids, leaving tryptophan free to enter your brain. Once there, it turns into serotonin, making you feel happy!”
Brenda listened, wide-eyed. “So, I’m self-medicating with bread?”
Dr. Neuron nodded. “Exactly! It’s your brain’s way of coping with internal pain. But remember, too much of a good thing can lead to other problems.”
With this newfound understanding, Brenda decided to seek healthier ways to cope with her sadness, like talking to friends, exercising, and even taking up painting. She still enjoyed the occasional pastry, but he no longer relied on bread alone to chase away his stormy clouds.
And so, Brenda the Bread Bandit retired her bakery-raiding ways, finding balance and happiness through a mix of science and a sprinkle of humor. The town of Neuroville was safer, and Brenda’s brain was sunnier than ever.
I hope you know that you can too deal with your pain in a healthy and happier way. In the next section, we will talk about ways to avoid self-medicating.
Job one is get out of that cave. A lot of people do get out but don't change. So the thing is to get out and recognize the significance of that aggressive denial of your fate, come through the crucible forged into a stronger metal.
Overcoming the Urge to Self-Medicate
For many of us, self-medicating has become normalized. You might have watched one or both of your parents kick back a beer and watch hours of television at night. Or, you might find yourself numbing out to hours of Instagram reels after a hard day’s work. Maybe that’s all your friends like to do.
During the summer, I was at the community pool and overheard a conversation between two people discussing their new relationships. One man, with sunscreen on his nose and chugging what seemed to be his fifth beer, asked his friend, “Does your girl know how to drink?” I don’t even want to know how someone answers that kind of question. Was he asking, “How much can she drink before she gets alcohol poisoning?” Is that the kind of flex he was looking for? I don’t know.
This is tough. On top of friends and family, you have movies and consumer culture constantly telling you that more is never enough. There’s a reason why Hollywood created not one or two, but three “The Hangover” movies—a trilogy into debauchery and foolishness.
So, I get the struggle. It is real and hard at times. It requires effort, support, and sometimes professional help. But with determination and the right strategies, it is possible. That’s why I am going to give you some tips to help you.
There are moments when you feel challenged to your core.
— Denise G. Lee (@DeniseGLee) July 31, 2024
You might feel bothered when you want to be alone. You might feel terribly lonely, with nobody there to talk to.
Nothing good seems to be happening.
But is it?
Sometimes, even in the moments that feel terrible, there is…
Eight Healthier Ways to Cope
Learning to take better care of yourself after years of self-abuse and mistreatment is challenging. It’s like trying to steer a ship through rough seas.
To help you navigate this journey, I’ve put together eight ways to avoid self-medication and reconnect with who you are. Think of these not as strict rules but as a compass to guide you through your recovery.
1. Ask Yourself What You Really Need
Feelings can be overwhelming, and your first impulse might be to seek immediate relief through self-medication. Instead of turning to self-medication, advocate for your future self. What do you need most right now? Do you need a hug? Do you need reassurance that things will improve? Get to the root of what is happening. Writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal can help you process and understand them better, without relying on self-medication.
2. Talk to Someone
Many of us are pros at isolating ourselves, often leading to self-medication as a way to cope. It’s easy to get lost in your own thoughts and avoid sharing how you feel with others. Instead of self-medicating, try talking to a trusted friend or therapist. This can provide clarity, relief, and support.
As Miley Cyrus once said, “Every person can benefit from talking to somebody. I’m the most anti-medication person, but some people need medicine, and there was a time where I needed some too.”
3. Exercise
This isn’t about doing Tai-Bo (I might be showing my age with that one). Just get moving—whether that’s walking, doing yoga, or finding another activity you enjoy. Exercise helps release endorphins, which can boost your mood and ease stress without needing to self-medicate.
Now, you might have noticed that I’ve said over-exercising can become a form of self-medicating. And here I am, suggesting exercise as a healthy habit.
But here’s what you need to know: Anything in excess can be unhealthy. So when I talk about exercise, I’m not giving you the green light to spend all your weekends at the gym. I’m saying it’s important to set boundaries on how much and how intensely you exercise. If you’ve been doing long, intense workouts like jogging or boxing, try switching to 30-minute walks or yoga sessions instead.
A strong support system is essential. It’s more than just chatting with someone now and then. It’s about having someone who really knows you, understands your struggles, and is ready to help you when you have the urge to self-medicate.
4. Advocate for Your Future Self
As a survivor of trauma, focusing on the present moment is crucial, but also consider what the healthier, happier version of yourself needs. This involves looking beyond immediate self-medication and thinking about what will benefit you in the long run. Consider which people, things, or activities will support your well-being today, next week, and even next year.
5. Try Mindfulness and/or Meditation
Mindfulness and meditation are great ways to stay focused on the present and manage stress without needing to self-medicate.
Meditation gives you a quiet time to relax and clear your mind. It’s like taking a mental break to refresh yourself. Mindfulness means paying attention to your current feelings and thoughts without judging them. It’s about being aware of what’s happening right now, instead of worrying about the past or future.
When you practice mindfulness and meditation regularly, you can get better at handling stress, staying focused, and feeling more peaceful overall. These practices can make a big difference in your daily life and well-being.
6. Explore New Hobbies or Creative Outlets
Engaging in hobbies and creative outlets like painting, playing music, or gardening can be a positive distraction and boost your mood. These activities offer a break from daily routines and help manage stress, providing an alternative to self-medication while allowing you to focus on something you love.
7. Build a Solid Support System
A strong support system is essential. It’s more than just chatting with someone now and then. It’s about having someone who really knows you, understands your struggles, and is ready to help you when you have the urge to self-medicate. Surround yourself with people who are understanding and supportive, and who will stand by you through your recovery and healing journey. These connections offer encouragement and help as you face life’s challenges.
8. Seek Professional Help
“Mental health is not a destination, but a process. It’s about how you drive, not where you’re going.” — Noam Shpancer, PhD
Sometimes, getting help from a professional is needed. Therapists, counselors, or coaches like me can give you advice and tools to help you handle your emotions better. They work with you to make plans, set goals, and understand what’s affecting your well-being. Seeking professional help is a good step toward finding ways to deal with stress and emotional issues without turning to self-medication.
The image below sums up my tips. I have additional tips on coping with past stressful or traumatic events in another article I wrote. Next, I will share my final thoughts.
Final Thoughts
Self-medication is a common response to pain and stress, but it’s not the healthiest way to cope. By understanding why we self-medicate and learning healthier strategies, we can improve our well-being and lead happier lives.
Be patient with yourself throughout the process. You may have been dealing with this issue for years, if not decades. Nobody expects you to clean up your act overnight. So if you’re struggling with self-medication, know that you’re not alone and that help is available.
Please reach out to your healthcare team if it is interfering with how you live. And don’t hesitate to contact me if you are looking for personalized strategies for managing your work and personal life.
Also, don’t forget to listen to this episode from my entrepreneur podcast for more tips and insights on how to improve your mental health and well-being. Together, we can create a brighter future.
