Authentic Connection with Team Members: How to Create It the Right Way
Being a life coach for business owners, I understand the tough situations they go through, both at work and in their personal lives. One significant aspect that people don’t always consider is how leaders can better relate to their team members.
In this article, we’re going to discuss the benefits of a good professional relationship with our team, and then we will conclude with some useful tips on improving our empathic skills.
Realizing how important it is to connect with others and be genuine, leaders should do more than just focus on business transactions.
Why Connection and Authenticity Is Important for Business Owners
(beyond just making money and being more productive)
Howard Schultz, the former CEO of Starbucks, demonstrated authentic connection by regularly visiting stores and engaging with frontline employees. During a tough period, Schultz decided to shut down all stores for a day to provide barista training on the perfect espresso shot. This move not only improved product quality but also showed employees that their work was crucial to the company’s success.
Many business owners start their businesses because they notice something missing in the market. It’s not just about the products or services; it’s also about how they treat their employees.
Some entrepreneurs, like me, may have come from places where job security was uncertain. This made us feel unimportant and not very motivated to make the workplace better. Nowadays, there’s a problem called “quiet quitting,” where employees mentally check out even though they’re physically at work.
Realizing how important it is to connect with others and be genuine, leaders should do more than just focus on business transactions. They should work on creating meaningful relationships with their team. This means making a place where employees feel important, listened to, and like they’re part of a shared goal. Keeping loyalty and using the experience each team member brings is crucial for a business to keep growing and succeeding.
Next, we’ll talk about the common problems leaders face when trying to connect with their teams and look at ways to solve these issues.
Why Leaders Struggle to Create an Authentic Connection
Connecting authentically with team members can be tough for leaders due to various reasons, often rooted in personal experiences and challenges. Let’s explore a few of these reasons:
Fear of Vulnerability:
Imagine a leader who had a past experience where showing vulnerability led to negative consequences. This leader might be hesitant to open up about personal struggles or admit not having all the answers, fearing it could be perceived as a sign of weakness.
Past Trust Issues:
Consider a leader who faced betrayals in previous professional relationships. This history might make it difficult for them to trust their current team fully. They could struggle to form genuine connections, always having a guard up to protect themselves from potential disappointments.
Communication Barriers:
Think of a leader who grew up in an environment where emotions weren’t openly discussed. This leader might find it challenging to express feelings or understand the emotions of their team members. The lack of effective communication hinders the development of authentic connections.
Time Constraints and Workload:
Picture a leader juggling multiple responsibilities and deadlines. The pressure to meet these demands might leave little time for personal interactions. As a result, the leader may prioritize tasks over connecting with team members on a deeper, more personal level.
Mismatched Values:
Suppose a leader holds values that don’t align with the team’s or individual team members’. This mismatch can create a barrier to authentic connection, as the leader may struggle to understand or appreciate perspectives that differ from their own.
Previous Negative Experiences:
A leader who had a bad experience with a previous team might carry that baggage into new leadership roles. This negative history can make it challenging for them to approach their current team with an open mind, hindering the development of authentic connections.
Limited Emotional Intelligence:
Think of a leader who struggles to recognize and understand the emotions of others. This lack of emotional intelligence can lead to misinterpretations and misunderstandings, making it difficult to form authentic connections based on empathy and understanding.
Despite all of these obstacles, there are opportunities for personal growth and development. In the next section, we will discuss how leaders like you can authentically connect with your people.
Not everyone is ready, nor willing, to commit to healthy communication. Be prepared to invite them to explore other employment opportunities so that everyone can enjoy their time at work.
9 Solutions for Leaders Struggling to Create an Authentic Connection with their People
As you read through this list, understand that it is not a one-and-done thing. Meaning that by the time you recognize there is a huge communication barrier and try to remedy it, there have been some serious issues already at play which have caused a breakdown in either productivity and/or morale.
So – please be patient with yourself and your team members, as it will require willingness, honesty, and a desire to build or rebuild an authentic connection. And also, one more thing: not everyone will be willing nor ready for change. Be ready for the possibility of inviting ill-fitting team members to explore outside opportunities if they do not want to commit to an emotionally healthy workplace.
Open Communication:
Your team is looking for you as a model for honestly and vulnerability. Talk openly with your team. Share your thoughts and ask for theirs. The process of sharing and listening without judgment will create an environment where everyone feels comfortable expressing themselves.
Build Trust Gradually:
People who are used to seeing you put up huge emotional walls around you
probablymost likely don’t feel safe to share their struggles. Take small steps to build trust. Show consistency, follow through on commitments, and be reliable. Over time, trust will grow naturally.Embrace Vulnerability:
Nobody wants to admit the king is without clothes due to the fear of punishment. So, don’t be afraid to admit mistakes or ask for help. Showing vulnerability can make you more relatable and approachable.
Invest Time in Relationships:
You invested time in perfecting your craft. Now is the time to invest in helping your team members perform better. Set aside dedicated time for your team. Even brief, regular check-ins can go a long way in building connections.
Understand the Values of Your Team Members:
Often, people don’t relate well because they don’t understand their priorities. Learn about your team’s values and appreciate their perspectives. Align your leadership approach to create a shared sense of purpose.
Learn from Past Experiences:
As humans, we have a hard time moving past bad professional experiences because we either haven’t learned the lesson or still feel the wounds from the hurt. And because of that, we make rigid vows on what we will do or say with everyone else. However, that mindset leads to stagnation, not growth. Reflect on past experiences but don’t let them dictate your present. Use them as lessons to improve your current connections.
Enhance Your Emotional Intelligence:
Just like anything else of importance, building a connection is an art that takes practice and intentionality. Take time to pay attention to others’ feelings and reactions, practice active listening, and seek to understand their emotions. This will naturally improve your emotional intelligence.
Lead by Example
Foster a workplace culture that encourages open communication, collaboration, and mutual support. Demonstrate the behaviors you want to see in your team. If you value authenticity, transparency, and collaboration, showcase these qualities in your leadership. If you need more help, consider taking this course.
Invest in Continuous Learning:
Stay curious and be open to learning. This includes private coaching, reading books, therapy, or perhaps learning from your team members. Don’t hesitate to share with your team what you are learning on and off the clock. Your willingness to grow emotionally and intellectually will inspire others to do the same.
Remember, authentic connections are built over time.
Be patient, stay genuine, and let your actions speak louder than words. Your efforts to connect authentically will contribute to a positive and harmonious work environment. In the next section, I will share my final thoughts.
Final Thoughts
Improving communication takes intention. As you read throughout this article, most of us replicate what we learned from our families first, then schooling, and then through our workplace influences. This is called a life script. Some learned better than others. Regardless of your starting point, there is always room for improvement.
Creating warm, positive, and creative workplaces requires you to be honest about where you are emotionally so that you can have realistic expectations not only of yourself but also of how you relate to your team members.
If you are struggling in this area, don’t hesitate to connect with me. Dig deeper by listening to this episode from my podcast.
