Mastering the Art of Dealing with Rejection as a Business Owner
Hi there! I’m Denise G Lee, an entrepreneur coach. Today, we’re going to talk about something super important: dealing with rejection. This topic is crucial for anyone in business or leadership because facing rejection is part of the journey. But don’t worry, we’ll explore how to handle it and come out stronger on the other side. First, I want to get real and share my own person struggles with rejection.
Going from Sensitivity to Strength
Once upon a time, I was really, really sensitive about my writing skills. (Yes, that’s me with over 100 blog posts on self-improvement, mindset, and leadership-building skills on my website.)
In my younger years (meaning before I turned 35), I was an exceptionally poor writer. Writing anything beyond 200 words felt like pulling teeth.
I didn’t know what to say or how to say something compelling. To make it worse, I was really sensitive to criticism (a bad combo). So, I was slow to ask for help and quick to get mad at anyone who said anything critical (constructive or not).
And because I was so sensitive and perfectionistic, people picked up on that energy and were hesitant to give me advice.
Changing Our Thoughts About Feedback
This caused a doom loop of confusion and misunderstanding between myself and any unfortunate soul who wanted to provide me constructive feedback. I expected that when I wrote something, it was only going to be good. And I expected people to only praise me because they would see that I was trying my best (which, on reflection, I wasn’t).
Is that you? Are you expecting things that aren’t even fair to you or anyone else? Yeah, that would make you feel upset, sensitive, and fearful of feedback too. That is natural! Especially if you weren’t raised by kind and emotionally mature adults.
But we can flip it around. Change our thoughts about feedback and how we deal with less-than-kind words from others. It will take some work on your part. But the alternative of feeling good about yourself is far better than avoiding anyone who could say anything less than nice.
I wrote about my lack of personal maturity on social media. Please join the conversation and let me know your thoughts as well.
Next, let’s talk about how to distinguish good feedback from bad. They aren’t the same, you know. This will help you separate the wheat from the chaff you may hear from folks.
Do you know why people struggle with rejection?
— Denise G. Lee (@DeniseGLee) July 22, 2024
Simple.
Their expectations of others and themselves are totally out of whack.
Let me explain.
I'm really sensitive about my writing skills. In my younger years, I was an exceptionally poor writer. Writing anything beyond 200…
How to Tell Good Feedback from Bad
Good feedback is constructive and specific. For example, if a team member suggests, “Your marketing strategy could benefit from more focus on social media engagement,” they’re offering actionable advice that can help improve a particular aspect of your business. This type of feedback is valuable because it provides clear guidance on what to improve and why.
On the other hand, bad feedback is vague or purely negative without offering solutions. For instance, if someone says, “Your marketing strategy is terrible,” but doesn’t elaborate on why or how to fix it, this feedback lacks substance and doesn’t help you make meaningful changes. It’s often just criticism for the sake of criticism and can be more discouraging than useful.
Another example: If a client says, “I felt the customer service was slow,” this is helpful if it’s accompanied by specifics, like, “It took too long to resolve my issue.” This feedback helps you identify and address particular problems in your service. However, if a client just says, “Your service is bad,” without any details, it’s less actionable and harder to address.
As a business owner or leader, focusing on actionable and specific feedback helps you refine your strategies, improve your products or services, and ultimately foster a more effective and responsive business environment.
Now that you know the difference between the two, let’s talk about how to handle advice or opinions from others, especially if it feels like rejection. First, let’s discuss the different types of rejection we may face in business as well as in our personal lives.
Understanding Rejection
As I mentioned earlier, the reason why I struggle, and why someone you care about might struggle, with rejection is that it’s challenging to process the emotions that come with it.
It’s one thing to know you could have done better, but it’s another to do your best and still feel alienated, isolated, and alone. These feelings can stick with you harder than gum stuck on your shoe on a hot day. No matter how much you tell yourself it’s okay and not personal, it feels intensely personal, as if the distance from others is a direct attack on your character. No wonder so many people slip into depression and anxiety if they don’t know how to handle rejection.
Before you isolate yourself and vow never to try or do anything that might offend anyone, it’s important to understand why rejection hurts and how to deal with it in an emotionally healthy way.
Step #1: Know the Feeling of Rejection is Natural
Rejection is a natural part of life, especially in business. It happens to everyone. Maybe you pitched an idea and it was turned down, or you didn’t get the sale you were hoping for.
Behind every rejection is an expectation that wasn’t fulfilled, and that’s why it hurts so much. We imagine the success, the praise, and the recognition that would come with it. Our minds create a picture of success where we’re celebrated and rewarded. Instead, we might get a cold shoulder or, at worst, hear that people are talking negatively about us.
For example, let’s say you’ve worked hard on a new product and present it to a potential client. You’re excited and hopeful, picturing the client’s positive reaction and the boost it will give your business. But instead, the client rejects your proposal, and you hear they told others it wasn’t good enough. It stings because you’ve invested not just time and effort, but also your hopes and dreams into that pitch.
Rejection is Meant To Help, Not Hurt Us
Psychologically, rejection taps into our fear of failure and our need for approval. It’s a blow to our self-esteem and can make us question our abilities and worth. This is why it can be so painful and discouraging. But understanding that rejection is a part of the journey can help. It’s a sign that you’re putting yourself out there and taking risks. Each rejection is an opportunity to learn and grow. Instead of letting it hold you back, use it as a chance to improve and move forward with even more determination.
But not all rejections are bad. In fact, some of them are actually good for you. Next, let’s talk about the different types of rejection.
Step #2: Know the Types of Rejection
When you face rejection, it’s important to know that there are two main types:
Helpful Rejection:
This type of rejection is actually useful because it gives you ideas on how to improve. For example, if your business proposal was rejected but the feedback you received included suggestions on how to make it stronger, that’s helpful. It’s like a coach giving you advice to play better. Use this kind of feedback to make your next attempt even stronger.
Unhelpful Rejection:
This type of rejection doesn’t give you any useful advice. For instance, if you’re told, “This isn’t good,” without any explanation or tips on how to improve, that’s unhelpful. It’s like someone saying you’re not good at something but not showing you how to get better. This kind of feedback is harder to use, but remember, it doesn’t define your worth or your business.
Now that you understand rejection is natural and not all rejections are alike, let’s move on to practical ways to handle the upsetting feelings that come with it. In the next section, we’ll explore strategies to manage your emotions and turn rejection into a positive force for growth.
Practical Strategies for Dealing with Rejection
Reframe the Rejection:
When dealing with rejection, turn it into a learning opportunity. For example, if a potential investor declines your pitch but provides feedback on improving your business plan, use that advice to make your pitch stronger and more appealing. Reframing rejection this way can lead to growth and better results.
Focus on Your Why:
Remember why you started your business or project and who you’re trying to help. For instance, if a project proposal is rejected, remind yourself of your goal to provide excellent service to your clients and how your work impacts their lives. Keeping your mission in mind helps you stay motivated despite rejection.
Practice Self-Compassion:
Be kind to yourself when dealing with rejection. If a marketing campaign doesn’t perform as well as you hoped, acknowledge your feelings of disappointment but also remind yourself of your skills and past successes. For example, think, “I have successfully managed similar projects before, and I can do it again.” Practicing self-compassion can help you bounce back from rejection.
Practicing self-compassion can help you bounce back from rejection. Psychologists explain that when we are kind to ourselves, our brains release chemicals like oxytocin and endorphins, which can improve our mood and reduce stress. This makes it easier to handle setbacks without letting them negatively impact our self-esteem or motivation.
Research also shows that self-compassion helps people cope better with challenges. When you treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a friend, you’re more likely to stay resilient and keep trying, even after facing rejection. This approach not only helps you recover more quickly but also encourages a healthier mindset for long-term success.
Seek Support
The reason so many of us deal with loneliness and anxiety is that we don’t share our concerns and struggles with others. We think we need to put on a strong, stoic face and ‘deal with it.’ However, this approach can actually lead to future burnout or rage issues.
Connect with mentors or peers who can offer guidance and encouragement. If you receive negative feedback on your product, discuss it with a mentor who can help you understand the feedback and provide advice on improvement. Sharing your experiences with others in your industry can offer new perspectives and support when dealing with rejection.
Reflect on Successes:
Take time to celebrate your achievements. If you’ve had a successful product launch in the past, review the positive feedback and results to boost your confidence. Reflecting on past successes reminds you of your capabilities and strengths, which can be uplifting when facing rejection.
Continuous Improvement:
Use feedback to make improvements. For example, if customers indicate that your website is hard to navigate, use that input to enhance your site. Embrace rejection as an opportunity for continuous improvement and strive to make your business better.
Stay True to Your Values:
Stick to your principles even when dealing with rejection. If a potential partner doesn’t align with your values, such as a commitment to sustainability, it’s okay to turn down the partnership. Staying true to your values helps ensure long-term success and integrity. Next, here are some additional tips to help keep your spirits high when things are looking down.
Harnessing the Power of Affirmation to Navigate Rejection
Words have a powerful way to boost your spirits and recommit yourself when it feels nothing good is happening. Here are some positive affirmations to help you deal with rejection:
- “I am dedicated to providing valuable content and staying true to my mission.” For example, remind yourself of your dedication to high-quality work, even if one client doesn’t appreciate it.
- “Every rejection is a step closer to success.” For instance, think of how past rejections led you to make important changes that eventually led to success.
- “I learn and grow from every experience.” Remember that each rejection provides valuable lessons that help you improve.
I hope these tips on dealing with rejection have been helpful. The image below summarizes my tips. Next, I will share my final thoughts.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with rejection is tough, but it’s also a valuable part of growth and success. By understanding and reframing rejection, focusing on your mission, and practicing self-compassion, you can turn rejection into a powerful tool for improvement.
I encourage you to work with me to create personalized plans for handling rejection and achieving your best in both your personal and work life. Also, be sure to listen to this episode from my entrepreneur podcast.
Remember, your commitment to quality and integrity will pay off in the long run. Keep going, and never give up!
