Use Rejection as Fuel: 7 Tips to Be More Resilient & Courageous
Do you know what is worse than feeling alone and isolated? Feeling rejected. That’s when you are seen but not heard by those around you. It’s one of the hardest feelings to experience because it makes you feel like you’re not good enough. Rejection comes in many forms—whether it’s in business, relationships, or social situations—and it can take a real toll on your confidence.
But here’s the good news: You can use rejection as a tool to fuel your growth. As a healing and leadership coach, I want to empower you to succeed both inside and outside your business. In this article, I’ll share seven tips to help you become more resilient and courageous when facing rejection. These tips will guide you in turning negative experiences into opportunities for growth.
Before we delve into the practical tips, let’s first talk about the importance of resilience and courage.
Why Do I Need to Cultivate Resilience and Courage?
I wish we could snap our fingers and make all the bad experiences, hard moments, and difficult people disappear from our lives. Unfortunately, that’s not how life works. We grow through challenges, not by avoiding them.
Rejection, no matter how painful, can teach us important lessons. In life and in business, we will inevitably face situations where things don’t go our way. You might lose a client, get turned down for a promotion, or have your ideas dismissed by a colleague. It’s not the rejection itself that defines you, but how you respond to it.
Resilience is about bouncing back after setbacks, and courage is about taking risks even when you fear rejection. These two traits are essential if you want to improve communication with your team, attract more clients, or rebuild relationships with family and friends.
But before we get into the seven tips, I want to share a personal story that illustrates how rejection is something we all experience, even when we’re trying to help others.
Rejection often says more about the person rejecting than it does about you. You can’t control how others perceive you, but you can control how you respond.
Dealing With Rejection From Others
As someone who works in the healing and helping profession, I know firsthand how painful rejection can feel. I’ve had my fair share of moments where my help wasn’t wanted, and it hurt. I’m sure you’ve had similar experiences too, whether in your personal life or at work.
Here’s one of my stories. As a volunteer in a local charity that helps people in need with food, clothing, and other resources, I had an encounter that opened my eyes to the nature of rejection and judgment. Here is a picture of me at the pantry.
One day, I was working with two women—we’ll call them Mary and Jane. I greeted Mary in Spanish, and she responded to me in English, which was fine. But later on, when I was helping Jane in Spanish, I overheard Mary tell her that I didn’t speak Spanish. It was a strange interaction, and I could feel tension in the air.
I felt rejected, judged unfairly by Mary, who had no reason to think I couldn’t help her. It stung a little, but I reminded myself that this wasn’t about me personally. Mary had her own prejudices, and I couldn’t change that. My job was to continue helping both women with what they needed, and that’s exactly what I did.
This experience taught me an important lesson: Rejection often says more about the person rejecting than it does about you. You can’t control how others perceive you, but you can control how you respond.
Next, I want to share a personal example of how I had to overcome feelings of rejection. You see, rejection doesn’t just come from within; it also stems from old wounds and unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves.
Dealing With Rejection From Within
As of Fall 2024, I’ve been on my own media circuit tour, and let me tell you—it’s awesome! I’ve been featured on various podcasts, sharing my experiences, insights, and connecting with hosts from all walks of life. Curious to listen to some of them? Click here to check them out!
But, let’s be real—there’s a flip side to the fun. The not-so-good part was pushing through all the fears that held me back from connecting in the first place. Was it because I had no experience in podcasting? Nope. I’ve interviewed almost 100 people in the last five years as a podcaster myself. Was it because I needed fancy equipment? Nope again.
The truth? I was afraid of looking bad because I didn’t think I measured up to the ridiculously high standards I placed on myself. I talk more about it in the social media post below. Click the link below to join the conversation.
Do you think you need to arrive before taking the next step?
— Denise G. Lee (@DeniseGLee) October 10, 2024
I used to think that way about becoming a podcast host.
I thought:
"I need to have written a book."
"Have the right credentials..."
"Helped X number of people..."
Then, I paused and thought about the hundreds of…
Here’s the kicker—I was accusing myself of the ultimate crime: not being worthy enough to play in the game. Even though the barrier to entry for podcasting or social influencing is basically owning a smartphone and a good mic, in my mind, I thought perfectionism would hold me back. I wasn’t a doctor, a therapist, or someone who’d been in the industry for 20 years, and that made me feel inadequate. Crazy, right? Everyone starts from ground zero before they’re labeled as someone of influence.
But there I was, limiting myself because I foolishly thought I needed permission. Honestly, I was rejecting myself—my own capabilities, my knowledge. It’s wild, but it’s true. And that self-rejection stopped me from connecting with amazing hosts who could help me share my message of hope, resilience, and courage.
Don’t be me. Rise above that discomfort. In the next section, I’ve got seven tips to help you push through the fear of rejection.
Using Rejection as Fuel for Personal Growth
Rejection doesn’t have to be the end of the road. In fact, it can be the very thing that propels you forward. Below are seven tips to help you build resilience and courage when facing rejection:
1. Accept Your Feelings
First things first: it’s completely normal to feel hurt, disappointed, or even downright angry when rejection comes knocking at your door. Imagine it like a surprise guest who shows up uninvited and eats all your snacks—frustrating, right? But don’t try to stuff those feelings down like you’re playing emotional Tetris. Instead, let yourself feel the full spectrum of emotions.
Remember: Emotions are there to help, not hurt you.
Allowing yourself to experience these feelings is crucial. Think of it like a pressure cooker; if you don’t let off some steam, you might just explode! As I always say, “Emotions are like house guests—acknowledge them, but don’t let them move in permanently!”And remember, it’s okay to have a mini pity party—just don’t forget to send out the invites for your comeback party afterward!
2. Gain Perspective
Now, let’s talk about perspective. Rejection is as common in business as coffee stains on important documents—trust me, everyone faces it at some point! It’s not a reflection of your worth as a person or an entrepreneur.
Think of rejection as your GPS recalculating your route to success. Sure, it might take you on a detour through a questionable neighborhood (we’ve all been there), but ultimately, you’ll still reach your destination. In fact, some of the most successful people have faced rejection more times than they can count.
Did you know that J.K. Rowling’s “Harry Potter” was rejected by 12 publishers before finally being accepted? Talk about perseverance! So the next time you face rejection, remember that it’s just a pit stop on your journey to greatness.
3. Reflect on the Experience
Once the initial sting of rejection wears off, take a moment to reflect on the experience. This is where the magic happens! Think about what you can learn from the situation. Was there something you could have done differently? Did you miss any red flags?
Keeping a journal can be incredibly helpful here—it’s like having a personal growth textbook that’s tailored just for you! Write down your thoughts and feelings about the experience. This will help you identify patterns in your behavior and areas where you can grow.
As leaders and entrepreneurs, self-reflection is key to becoming better communicators, team members, and decision-makers. And hey, if nothing else, it gives you something to look back on when you’re famous and need material for your autobiography!
We can use rejection as a superpower rather than a mark of shame. We can use it to teach ourselves boundaries, help us identify those who are worth our attention, and, most importantly, teach us that our value comes from within rather than from the outside.
4. Don’t Take It Personally
This one can be tougher than trying to open a jar with wet hands while wearing mittens—seriously challenging! But it’s essential not to take rejection personally. Often, rejection has nothing to do with you as an individual; it might be about timing or circumstances beyond your control.
Think of it this way: just because someone doesn’t want your cookies doesn’t mean they don’t love cookies! It could simply mean they’re on a diet or just had a bad day. So don’t internalize rejection as a reflection of your worth. Instead, see it as part of the process of finding the right opportunities and people for you.
Remember: “No” doesn’t always mean “You’re not good enough.” Sometimes it just means “Not right now” or “Not for me.” Keep this mantra handy—it’s like a life jacket in the turbulent sea of business!
5. Seek Support
When rejection hits you like a surprise water balloon (and we all know how messy that can be), don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Talk to trusted friends or family members who can offer guidance and encouragement. Sometimes all it takes is knowing that someone else understands what you’re going through to lift your spirits.
You might even consider working with a coach (like yours truly!) who can help provide clarity and perspective during tough times. Sharing your feelings can be as relieving as finally finding the matching sock in your laundry—ahh, sweet victory!
And let’s not forget about community support! Join local entrepreneur groups or online forums where others share their experiences with rejection. You’ll find that many have walked the same path and emerged stronger on the other side.
6. Keep Moving Forward
Don’t let rejection hold you back like a deer caught in headlights—it’s time to shake things off and move forward! Use that rejection as rocket fuel to propel yourself into new opportunities. Keep taking risks and pursuing your goals with gusto!
Remember: if one door closes, another one will open—sometimes in the most unexpected places (like that random coffee shop where you meet your future business partner). And every “no” gets you one step closer to a “yes.”
As I like to say, “In the business world, persistence isn’t just a virtue—it’s a superpower!” So channel your inner superhero and keep pushing forward!
7. Practice Self-Care
Finally, let’s talk about self-care because rejection can take an emotional toll faster than a toddler can throw a tantrum! It’s crucial to take care of yourself during these tough times. Make time for activities that bring you joy and help you relax.
Whether it’s spending time with loved ones (who will remind you how awesome you are), engaging in hobbies that make you happy (hello, painting classes!), or indulging in a tub of ice cream (no judgment here!), prioritize self-care.
Remember: You can’t pour from an empty cup—or in this case, an empty ice cream container! So fill yourself up with positivity and joy so that when opportunity knocks again (and trust me, it will), you’ll be ready to answer with enthusiasm.
I hope these tips were helpful. The image below sums them up. Next, I’ll share my final thoughts.
Final Thoughts
Rejection is never easy, but it’s something we all go through. It’s part of life’s learning curve. The key is not to avoid rejection but to embrace it and use it as a stepping stone for growth. By following the tips I’ve shared, you can turn rejection into a powerful tool for building resilience and courage.
Remember, every rejection brings you closer to where you’re meant to be. People who are worth having in your life—whether personally or professionally—will recognize your value. Those who don’t, well, they weren’t meant to be part of your journey.
If you’re struggling with rejection or want to learn more about how to overcome the fear of it, I’m here to help. Consider working with me, or check out my podcast episode where I dive deeper into these topics. You deserve to live a life full of courage, resilience, and success.
