Eric Berne and his colleagues laid out a bunch of psychological “games” in Games People Play (1964). These are the unconscious, repetitive social interactions people engage in to get hidden emotional payoffs. Whether in personal, professional, or social settings, these games keep people stuck in unhealthy patterns—sometimes even sabotaging themselves—because they feel familiar and comfortable.

These games aren’t played consciously. They serve as ways to avoid direct communication and true emotional connection. Berne’s Transactional Analysis helps people recognize these patterns, uncover the hidden reasons behind them, and replace them with honest, straightforward interactions.

Here are some classic games people play, along with simple explanations:

1. “Why Don’t You – Yes, But” (YDYB)

Someone shares a problem and asks for advice, but every suggestion is met with, “Yes, but…” They aren’t looking for a real solution—just validation that their problem is impossible to solve.

2. “Now I’ve Got You, You Son of a B**” (NIGYSOB)

Someone sets another person up to fail or catches them in a mistake, then comes down on them hard. It’s all about feeling morally superior.

3. “If It Weren’t for You” (IWFY)

Someone blames another person (spouse, boss, parent) for why they’re unhappy or unsuccessful, instead of taking responsibility for their own choices.

4. “See What You Made Me Do”

Someone shifts blame for their own mistakes or bad choices onto someone else—avoiding accountability and making others feel guilty instead.

5. “Look How Hard I’ve Tried”

Someone puts in just enough effort to say they tried, but not enough to actually succeed. When they fail, they use it as proof that nothing works for them.

6. “Let’s You and Him Fight” (LYAHF)

A third person stirs up conflict between two people, sitting back and enjoying the drama—or gaining something from the fight.

7. “Kick Me”

Someone acts in ways that invite rejection, criticism, or mistreatment, reinforcing their belief that they’re a victim.

8. “Ain’t It Awful”

A group of people bond by complaining about others or the world, but no one takes action to improve the situation.

9. “I’m Only Trying to Help You”

Someone gives unsolicited advice and then gets frustrated or resentful when the other person doesn’t take it.

10. “Schlemiel”

A person repeatedly makes mistakes or causes trouble, then seeks forgiveness and sympathy from others instead of taking responsibility.

11. “Poor Me”

A person continuously portrays themselves as a victim, seeking pity and avoiding personal accountability.

12. “Rapo”

Someone flirts or acts seductive, then later flips the script and accuses the other person of being inappropriate—gaining power through guilt.

13. “Cops and Robbers”

Someone positions themselves as a rebellious rule-breaker, blaming authority figures instead of owning their own behavior.

14. “Let’s Pull a Fast One on Joey”

A group works together to deceive or take advantage of someone, usually for their own amusement or benefit.

15. “Wooden Leg”

Someone uses a past trauma, addiction, or disability—real or exaggerated—as an excuse for avoiding responsibility or effort. Instead of working through challenges, they say, “What do you expect? I have a wooden leg.”

16. “Courtroom”

Instead of actually solving a conflict, people turn it into a trial. One person plays the plaintiff (the victim), another the defendant (the accused), and a third acts as the judge. The goal isn’t resolution—it’s winning.

17. “Blemish”

Someone fixates on the flaws and mistakes of others to feel superior. They rarely praise, always criticize, and seem to enjoy pointing out imperfections.

These games run on hidden motives, keeping people trapped in unhealthy cycles. The way out? Recognize the game, understand why it’s happening, and step out of the script. Real connection comes from honesty—not these predictable, repetitive patterns.

Now, let’s meet our 12 contestants—each stuck in their own business game. As you read through, see if you’ve ever played a small or big role in any of them, whether in the past or right now.