Life Partner: Nurturing Respect and Communication
Have you ever experienced a super awkward moment? It happened to me recently when I visited a jewelry store.
A saleswoman told me, “Our husbands would be lost without us.”
I stayed quiet.
At that moment, I realized she saw her man and maybe others as little boys always needing help.
As an entrepreneur coach, I wondered how bad it felt for a man to be looked down on by his partner.
One of the key areas where some of us feel unfulfilled is in the romantic department. If that’s you – I’ve got your back. In this article, we will discuss why some of us don’t give or receive the respect we desire, why we neglect the emotional needs of our partner, and how to have healthier communication with our loved one.
First, let’s talk about eight signs that your spouse or life partner disregards or diminishes your needs. This is important because you cannot solve a problem you do not recognize.
8 signs your spouse or life partner is disrespectful to your needs
Are you feeling unhappy when you are around your spouse or life partner the majority of the time? You aren’t imagining it. There is a problem.
Here are some signs that your spouse or life partner might not be paying attention to or making your needs seem less important:
- Not listening when you talk about what’s important to you.
- Prioritize their own needs over yours.
- Dismiss or minimize your feelings when you’re upset or unhappy.
- Fail to make an effort to understand your point of view or see things from your perspective.
- Make decisions without considering how it will affect you or your feelings.
- Belittle or mock your desires or goals.
- Consistently ignore or forget about things that matter to you.
- Criticize or judge you for expressing your needs or desires.
Self-focused people do stupid things at times
As you read through this list, perhaps you’ve experienced one, two, or maybe a combination of these things with your partner. Maybe you have done a few of these things yourself?
Does that immediately mean you or your partner is narcissistic, psychopathic, or sociopathic? Not necessarily. We all become self-focused at times, especially when we’re going through something stressful, uncertain, or chaotic.
But if this pattern persists with your partner, then it’s a major issue that needs to be resolved before it leads to a breakup or some form of abuse. Next, let’s talk about how a breakdown in intimacy can occur.
If we are to grow emotionally and spiritually with anyone, especially with our life partner, it requires constant awareness of the health of our relationships.
Factors Contributing to Intimacy Breakdown
Nobody intentionally gets involved with an abusive person. We all want to have a lover who make us feel good about ourselves. Unfortunately, life can lead us to act in unkind ways toward those closest to us. Let’s discuss some of the ways a partner can gradually become insensitive to our needs.
Change in Priorities: Over time, your partner’s priorities may shift, and they may start focusing more on their own needs without considering yours.
Communication Breakdown: Sometimes, communication can break down in a relationship, making it difficult for your partner to understand or empathize with your feelings.
Unresolved Issues: If there are unresolved issues or conflicts in the relationship, your partner may become defensive or dismissive of your needs as a way to avoid addressing the underlying problems.
Lack of Empathy: Your partner may struggle to empathize with your perspective, leading them to overlook or downplay your feelings and needs.
Unhealthy Patterns: Unhealthy relationship patterns, such as control or manipulation, can also contribute to your partner disrespecting your needs.
External Stressors: External factors like work stress, financial problems, or family issues can take a toll on your partner’s ability to prioritize your needs and be supportive.
Mismatched Expectations: Your partner may have different expectations or beliefs about relationships, leading them to prioritize their own needs over yours.
Sometimes, I notice that in my work, one person is really focused on what they want and need, and they don’t realize that it’s pushing them away from their partner. If we want to get closer to our partner emotionally and spiritually, we need to always pay attention to how our relationship is going. That means being honest about how we might be contributing to any problems in the relationship.
Often, communication problems start because one person feeds into negativity (whether consciously or not). And sadly this can snowball into bigger communication problems.
But I'm okay Denise! Why can't you just fix them?
I wish I could isolate them from you and have them work on their issues. Sometimes that’s needed and necessary, especially if they are dealing with a serious addiction issue. But often, communication problems start because one person feeds into negativity (whether consciously or not). And sadly this can snowball into bigger communication problems.
Five Ways to Improve Your Love Life
Patterns are easy to make yet so hard to break. So if you or your partner has a habit of treating the other person bad, there is a lot of unhealed pain that needs to be addressed. Here’s how you can start improving the quality of your relationship:
Self-reflection: Take time to think about why you might treat your partner in this way. Are there insecurities or beliefs about gender roles influencing your behavior? Understanding the root causes can be the first step towards change.
Communication: Talk openly with your partner about how you both feel in the relationship. Share your thoughts and concerns about any dynamics that feel unequal or disrespectful. Listening to each other with empathy can help build understanding and trust.
Empowerment: Encourage your partner to express their opinions, preferences, and needs freely. Recognize and celebrate their strengths and capabilities. Building each other up rather than assuming a position of superiority can create a more balanced and respectful dynamic.
Challenge societal norms: Question and challenge societal expectations and stereotypes about gender roles. Recognize that both partners are individuals with their own strengths, weaknesses, and agency. Rejecting harmful stereotypes can empower both partners to define their relationship on their own terms.
Seek support: Consider support from a coach like myself who can help you explore and address any underlying issues contributing to the dynamic of infantilization. I can provide you guidance and tools for fostering healthier communication and relationship patterns.
The image below has simple ideas that show your partner that you care about them. Next, I will share my final thoughts.
Final Thoughts
In conclusion, stopping the disrespect of our partners is important for having happy, healthy relationship with your life partner. When we understand and deal with the reasons behind this behavior, we make room for deeper feelings, respect, and trust in our relationships. This is not easy work. You and your partner needs to work hard to heal and grow, but the benefits are huge – a relationship where both people feel equal, strong, and loved no matter what.
As a life coach for business owners, I invite you to join me on this journey of learning about yourself and making positive changes. Let’s work together to navigate the ups and downs of personal relationships and help you reach your goals, both in life and at work. Get in touch with me for coaching sessions or courses designed just for you and what you want to achieve.
Also, check out my podcast for more insights into personal growth, relationships, and success. Just remember, you have the power to heal and succeed within you.
