The Power of Words: How Language Shapes and Influences Mindset
You might have heard that you are the sum of the three closest people around you. Well, I want to build on that and say that you are the sum of your most pervasive thoughts. The only question is whether those thoughts are helping or hurting you.
As a life and business coach, I want to ensure that you understand the power of your inner dialogue so that you can direct it towards positive and productive activities. In this article, we will discuss how the power of your words can impact your mindset.
First, let’s take a trip down memory lane and examine your experiences from childhood. They may have created values and beliefs that run counter to your goals and ambitions.
Message from your childhood spilling into adulthood
Have you ever noticed yourself acting like your parents did when you were a child? It happened to me on the day I took my son with me to Home Depot to get mulch.
When I returned home and began unloading the trunk, my husband asked me how it went. I replied, “Well, he did some good things.”
My husband knows how frustrated I can get when I’m trying to move heavy things with our son. He replied, “Only some things?” and I laughed it off, saying, “What do you expect from a young child in a hardware store?”
This is miles away from how I used to act.
Messages from the past impacting our present
In the past, I tried to treat my son the same way my father treated me, which was to ignore him and criticize him when he annoyed me.
As a child, my father was often abrupt and dismissive to me as a child. Consequently, I internalized the message, “Kids are useless.”
Now, I’m thinking about how my thoughts drive the actions that will affect my relationship with my son in the future.
Many of us fall back on our parents’ behavior with our children when we feel frustrated, but we must work to change that. I’m still working on mine.
What about you? Are messages from the past impacting your present relationships?
It’s worth considering.
Past experiences, especially those from childhood, can influence your present decision making. These experiences will ultimately affect your relationships in either a positive or negative way.
You’re not good enough!
“You’re not good enough!” Has anyone ever indirectly or directly said that to your face? Depending on who, how, and why, those simple words can feel like a sucker punch to the gut.
As humans, unless you challenge negative or harmful thoughts, you will think those inaccurate and distorted words are true. Reflecting on the messages I received from my parents, I felt unworthy because I could never appease them.
What about you?
What messages did you conclude based on how your parents treated you?
I have talked with many people over the years who are classic underachievers. They perceive themselves as unworthy as a friend, partner, boss, lover, neighbor, or parent. As a result, they might not be trying their best because of that nagging voice that keeps saying, “You’re not good enough” repeatedly in the back of their mind.
If that is you, take heart. The good news is that you can change that voice! It just takes rewiring your life script, turning up the volume of positive thinking, and being amazed at what happens next.
In the next section, we will discuss how the words you tell yourself and current influences may impact how you relate to yourself and others.
"You're not good enough!"
— Denise Lee (@DeniseGLee) August 30, 2023
Has anyone told you that indirectly or in some cases, straight to your face?
Depending on who, how and why - those simple words can feel like a sucker punch to the gut.
And as humans, unless you challenge negative or harmful thoughts - you will think…
The words you tell yourself
Your internal monologue plays an extremely important role in shaping your behavior and perception of the world around you. It’s essential to recognize the messages you’re telling yourself and how they might limit your potential and hinder your progress in life.
Words have tremendous power and can shape our attitudes and beliefs positively or negatively.
Negative self-talk can manifest into actions that reflect our lack of confidence and self-worth.
If you consistently tell yourself things like “I’m not good enough” or “I can never do this,” you’ll start to believe these negative messages and act accordingly.
It’s crucial to be mindful of the words you use when talking to yourself and make a conscious effort to replace negative self-talk with uplifting and encouraging statements.
Additionally, it’s crucial to recognize the external sources that contribute to your internal dialogue and learn how to manage them effectively to achieve a more positive and empowering mindset. The next section will discuss this in further detail.
Your past and present experiences shape who you are. How you view and digest those experiences impacts your ability to thrive or merely survive in life.
Not so innocent words from songs
I have a question for you: Have you ever come across something that reminded you of the pain, confusion, and dysfunction from your past before finding healing and recovery?
This happened to me recently.
While driving to church with my family, my husband suggested we listen to the Kids Bop station.
Kids Bop features popular songs sung by kids, but let me tell you, they touch on adult-related topics like love and heartbreak.
There was one particular song, mostly in Spanish, that caught my attention. While my husband and son were enjoying the beat and melody, I was paying close attention to the lyrics.
“I can’t imagine life without you!”
“My world is turning upside down!”
“Your love is everything to me!”
All these words were being sung by kids on the Kids Bop radio.
It felt like a love addict’s or codependent’s anthem.
Why do we allow kids (and even ourselves) to listen to these kinds of messages?
Instantly, I was transported back to a time when I would listen to sad love songs like:
- Toni Braxton – “Another Sad Love Song”
- Jewel – “Foolish Games”
- The Cardinals – “Lovefool”
All those songs by love-sick individuals who had little hope of finding a healthy romantic relationship.
After enduring what felt like an eternity (but was actually just 2 minutes), I thought to myself, “Turn that off!”
Next, I changed the station to the GROOVE station on SiriusXM. Now we are listening to “Car Wash” by Rose Royce.
“At the car wash…working at the car wash, yeah!”
We are smiling and singing along to songs that are fun and positive, instead of sad and depressing.
Moral of the story: Great emotional health requires intuition and effort
Do you listen to songs (or movies) without examining their content? I would caution you to be more mindful.
Healthy relationships require intentional effort, a joy-oriented mindset, and having a low tolerance for content that undermines your personal development.
If you desire healthy relationships, it’s crucial to monitor EVERYTHING you consume.
Nothing is innocent.
Trust me.
I want you to be intentional about what you consume. All healthy relationships, including romantic ones, depend on how you perceive yourself and others.
If you believe love is hopeless and surround yourself with content filled with sadness, you will inevitably create circumstances that confirm those dominant thoughts.
Something to ponder.
Next, I will share with you my final thoughts concerning the power of words and cultivating a positive mindset.
Final thoughts
When it comes to developing a positive mindset, it’s important to be intentional about it. It’s not simply about thinking positive thoughts and hoping for the best. Instead, it requires intentionally examining the various factors that influence your life and being deliberate about how you approach them.
If you’ve experienced harmful messages or trauma in your childhood, it’s especially important to take the time to heal and explore the root causes of those experiences. This level of introspection and honesty can be challenging, but it’s a necessary step in cultivating a healthy mindset.
Remember, you don’t have to go through this process alone. If you need help or support, don’t hesitate to reach out to me. Together, we can work towards developing a more positive and resilient mindset.
If you’re looking for additional resources and information on this topic, I encourage you to check out my podcast. In one of the episodes, we delve deeper into the power of words and how they can impact our mindset and overall well-being. Click here or press the play button below to listen in and learn more.
