Unqualified Life Coaches: The Hidden Harm of Performative Healing
There’s something I’ve been hesitant to say out loud about unqualified life coaches—because once I say it, there’s no walking it back.
But here it is:
There are people making serious money teaching trauma work they haven’t lived through, let alone healed from.
They host sleek podcasts. Lead glossy retreats. Offer “deep” mentorship inside $10K containers. And if you’re not paying attention, it’s easy to assume they know what they’re doing.
But for those of us who’ve actually done the work—who’ve sat in the thick of recovery, grief, addiction, or abuse—their energy hits differently.
It’s all performance, no presence.
All light, no weight.
All “divine feminine flow,” but no actual integrity.
And here’s the kicker: what they’re doing is completely legal.
But that doesn’t make it moral.
You could sell a trauma healing program today with zero training or self-awareness—just don’t call yourself a therapist, or the lawsuits come flying. So why do we let coaches slide?
As a healing and leadership coach (which is really just a grounded way of saying I help business owners lead from a place of sobriety and wholeness), I take this seriously. And if you’re a leader, you should too.
So here’s what we’re diving into today:
Why this issue matters for anyone in a position of leadership
What it actually looks like to interact with an unqualified life coach
Why so many unqualified coaches end up leading others—and how that becomes re-traumatizing
The warning signs you’re in their vortex
And what to do next
We’ve got a lot of ground to cover—so let’s get into it.
Why This Is Important for Leaders
Just because something is legal doesn’t mean it’s ethical.
And nowhere is that more obvious than in the coaching and healing industry.
We are watching a wave of people step into leadership—hosting retreats, running “trauma-informed” group programs, and offering deep healing work—without actually healing themselves.
And the harm isn’t always visible at first, but it’s real. I’ve seen it: confused, ashamed clients walk away from high-ticket containers feeling spiritually bypassed, emotionally blamed, and even more disconnected than when they started.
Why I’m Saying This Now — Personal Reflection
I’ve held off on talking about this because I know how cutthroat the online space can be.
But I also know what it’s like to heal for real.
To sit in the grief.
To wrestle with addiction, trauma, and shame—and not slap a pretty filter on top of it.
I didn’t walk through hell just to pretend everything’s fine.
I’m not here to perform healing. I’m here to live it—and protect the people who are trying to do the same.
That’s why I stay honest with myself. And it’s why I share my story openly, even when it’s messy.
If you want a deeper glimpse into what that healing process has looked like for me, click the link below to listen to a recent episode where I share part of that journey.
Because if you’re serious about ethical leadership, you can’t ignore this trend.
It affects how we’re seen. It affects how our clients trust.
And it creates an emotional debt the industry keeps hiding under branding, buzzwords, and big promises.
This didn’t happen by accident. There’s a reason so many unhealed life coaches are drawn to the spotlight—and it starts with how leadership can be used as a mask.
Why Unhealed Life Coaches Gravitate Toward Coaching Roles
There’s power in helping others—and power can feel intoxicating when you’ve spent years feeling powerless.
There’s power in helping others—and power can feel intoxicating when you’ve spent years feeling powerless.
That’s what draws many unqualified life coaches to the stage.
For some, coaching becomes a form of redemption. This is a way to:
- feel seen
- matter
- control something—anything—when life has felt chaotic or unhealed.
But without humility, honest self-examination, and healing support, that platform becomes a coping mechanism, not a calling.
We’ve seen this dynamic in high-profile figures like Teal Swan (The Deep End pulled back that curtain), Gina DeVee (whose work often leans more into glamor than groundedness), or even spiritual influencers like Sahara Rose. This isn’t about dragging names—it’s about naming a larger pattern.
What these examples show us is how easy it is to master the language of healing without embodying the substance of it.
When money, status, or relevance becomes the goal, something gets lost—and what gets lost is the depth.
And here’s the strange part: some of these women, like Gina DeVee, actually have formal training. She has a master’s in therapy. But somewhere along the line—maybe after moving to California, or immersing in the Bob Proctor-style world of high-ticket success—something shifted. The work became less about healing and more about selling empowerment like a lifestyle brand.
When Image Replaces Integrity
Again, this isn’t about her or anyone else specifically.
It’s about what happens when the coaching industry rewards image over integrity.
When staying visible becomes more important than staying honest.
When high vibes replace hard truths.
So when these leaders are challenged—not from hate, but from discernment—they often don’t reflect.
They deflect.
That’s not leadership.
That’s avoidance, dressed up in affirmations and filtered captions.
So what’s really going on beneath the surface? To understand why so many unqualified coaches rise to the top, we have to look at the emotional wiring and psychology behind it.
The Psychology and Science Behind Unqualified Life Coaches
This isn’t just a vibe issue—it’s a pattern rooted in psychology.
In transactional analysis, we talk about life scripting—those invisible childhood messages like “Don’t feel,” “Be strong,” or “Don’t need anyone.” Many unqualified life coaches are operating from unexamined scripts like these. Instead of healing their own wounds, they turn their pain into performance—and call it leadership.
What the science tells us is that unhealed trauma often results in:
Control-seeking behavior (disguised as authority or confidence)
Obsessive need for external validation
Addiction to productivity, influence, or “serving”
In short: they’re not leading to serve.
They’re leading to soothe their own pain.
That’s why you’ll hear spiritual-sounding deflections like:
“You’re just triggered.”
“Your block is a reflection of your inner wound.”
“You’re out of alignment.”
Those phrases aren’t wrong in principle.
But in the hands of someone who hasn’t done their own work?
They become a tool to shift blame and avoid responsibility.
And when those deflections become the norm, the damage doesn’t stay theoretical—it shows up in real people, with real consequences.
The Cost of Following Unqualified Life Coaches
I’ve worked with clients who came to me after they’d been in these programs.
They weren’t just disappointed. They were confused, ashamed, and emotionally off-center.
I’ve worked with clients who came to me after they’d been in these programs.
These beautiful souls weren’t just disappointed. They were confused, ashamed, and emotionally off-center.
Imagine being told things like:
“You’re blocked.”
“You’re not ready to receive.”
“Your energy isn’t aligned.”
Translation?
It’s your fault the transformation didn’t happen.
Not because the program lacked depth. Not because the coach was unqualified.
But because you weren’t “vibrating high enough.”
That’s not trauma work.
That’s spiritualized gaslighting.
How Language Gets Weaponized
When a leader doesn’t want to explain real, messy ideas about romantic codependency, addiction, or emotional abuse, they’ll default to catchphrases that sound deep—but actually deflect.
So you’ll hear terms like:
“Alignment”
“Being activated”
“Quantum healing”
I’m not here to mock those phrases. In the right context, they can be meaningful and grounding.
But too often, they’re used as shields—ways to avoid depth, dodge accountability, and keep things surface-level.
When something feels off or someone gets hurt, instead of taking responsibility, the leader might say:
“That’s your projection.”
“You’re just triggered.”
That’s not empowerment.
That’s gaslighting with good branding.
Glad you asked. In the next section, we’re diving into the most common types of unqualified life coaches you’ll see spinning through your social media feed—complete with polished promos, vague advice, and a whole lot of “high-vibe” energy.
Let’s break it down.
The Many Flavors of Unqualified Life Coaches
Welcome to the Life Coaching Tilt-a-Whirl—where the advice is vague, the vibes are high, and accountability is optional.
Let’s talk about the many flavors of unqualified, morally questionable, and let’s be honest… downright cringey life coaches showing up in your feed.
I’ve given them names and a wink of humor—but don’t be fooled. These aren’t just punchlines.
They’re exaggerated versions of what’s actually happening in the marketplace today.
And if you’ve worked with one before? You’re not alone—and you’re not crazy.
Let’s dive in.
1. The Clarity Queen 👑
“You don’t need a plan—you just need to get clear on your ‘why.’”
You’ve journaled your ‘why’ for twelve mornings straight. You’re now painfully self-aware, spiritually raw… and still broke.
Diagnosis: Insight overload.
Side effect: You can quote Rumi backwards but still can’t pick a domain name.
2. The Boundary Babe 🚫💋
“If it’s not a full-body yes, it’s a no.”
Cool. But now you’ve ghosted your accountant, your kid’s teacher, and your own launch—because nothing feels like a “yes” when you’re exhausted and spiraling.
Diagnosis: Somatic avoidance dressed as self-care.
Side effect: Decision paralysis and a schedule cleared by fear, not freedom.
3. The Mirror Maven 🪞✨
“Everything is a mirror. That disrespectful client? That’s your inner child speaking.”
Oh? So when Karen demanded a refund after ghosting you for eight weeks… that was your toddler asking for juice and external validation?
Diagnosis: Reflection fatigue.
Side effect: You’re afraid to set a boundary without triggering a past-life regression.
4. The Vibe Inspector 🌈🔍
“Don’t act until your frequency is aligned.”
You meant to send that invoice, but Mercury retrograded and your root chakra felt moody.
Diagnosis: Chronic energetic procrastination.
Side effect: A perfectly calibrated aura and zero follow-up emails.
5. The Love & Light Launcher 💕🚀
“You don’t need a strategy—just lead from your heart!”
You poured your soul into a 12-week program. Four people watched your IG Live. Two were bots.
Diagnosis: Strategy allergy.
Side effect: Soul depletion with a side of Canva-induced resentment.
6. The Flow Fairy 🧚♀️📅
“You don’t need structure. Just follow your flow.”
You flowed into three naps, a reorganized pantry, and a full-blown 1 a.m. tax panic.
Diagnosis: Weaponized fluidity.
Side effect: Ethereal calendar. Earthbound stress.
7. The Trauma Tourist 🧘♀️🌀
“Let’s sit with that and breathe.”
Cool. But after nine sessions and a curated meditation playlist, nothing’s changed but your Spotify algorithm.
Diagnosis: Spiritual codependence.
Side effect: Mistaking emotional babysitting for deep transformation.
🎟 BONUS RIDE: The Integration Oracle
“You’re not stuck. You’re just integrating.”
Translation? You’re spiraling, but here’s a pretty word so we can avoid the hard conversation.
Diagnosis: Euphemism overload.
Side effect: Gaslighted into stillness—with gratitude.
All jokes aside, this is allll happening online. Right now.
The image below? It sums them up perfectly.
And if you’re thinking, “Wait… I’m on this Ferris wheel right now,” don’t worry—I got you.
In the next section, let’s talk about what to do next.
What To Do If You’re in an Harmful Coaching Space
If you’re listening to someone and something feels off—trust that feeling.
Not every discomfort is resistance. Sometimes it’s your nervous system trying to get your attention.
If You’re a Coach Who Wants to Help—For Real
If you’ve ever been in a program where you were blamed for not “ascending fast enough,” let me be clear: that wasn’t your fault.
You weren’t broken. You were just in the wrong room.
And if you’re now in a position of influence—offering coaching, holding space, or leading others—and you know deep down there’s healing work you’ve skipped or avoided… this is your moment to pause.
Not out of guilt. Not to throw everything away.
But to give yourself the space to do it differently.
Do the work. Quietly. Consistently. Without rushing to package it.
Because your transformation doesn’t need a funnel—it needs a foundation.
The world doesn’t need more branded breakthroughs.
It needs more leaders with emotional sobriety, honest boundaries, and the courage to say, “I’m still becoming.”
And If You’re a Client Wondering What’s Happening…
Here’s what I want you to remember:
You’re not broken.
Your discomfort may be your intuition waking up.Trust your body.
If your nervous system feels unsafe during “coaching,” that’s not resistance—it’s wisdom.Stop second-guessing your unease.
If someone refuses to be questioned, lacks depth, or constantly deflects—walk.You have permission to leave.
You don’t owe loyalty to someone just because they sound spiritual or sold you a “breakthrough.”
The image below sums up these tips visually. And in the next section, I’ll share my final thoughts—what all this means for leadership, healing, and your next step forward.
Want More?
👉🏾 Read this quick-hit guide: Not Every Life Coach Helps: 12 Red Flags You Can’t Ignore
Perfect if you want a straight-to-the-point checklist of the most common issues in today’s coaching world.
👉🏾 Then go deeper with: Bad Life Coach Warning Signs: What No One Tells You About Hiring a Coach
It’s a raw, behind-the-scenes breakdown of the manipulative tactics and industry culture that inspired this entire conversation.
Final Thoughts
I’m not here to cancel anyone.
I’m here to protect people like you—people who are trying to heal, lead, and grow without getting swept up in spiritualized manipulation or branding-over-substance coaching.
Healing isn’t flashy.
It’s slow. Sacred. Sometimes inconvenient.
It doesn’t always photograph well—but it does transform you.
If you feel called to lead—please, lead from your scars, not your wounds.
You don’t need a fancy title or a certification to guide others.
But you do need to be anchored in truth—your own, first.
Because at the end of the day, integrity isn’t optional.
Not when other people’s healing is involved.
If this resonates, here are a few ways we can stay connected:
🎧 Listen to the podcast – for honest conversations on healing, leadership, and emotional sobriety.
📩 Write me a note – if something in this article hit home and you want to talk it through.
🤝 Explore working together – if you’re ready to deepen your leadership and healing journey.
You’re not alone in this. And you don’t have to fake your way through it.
