Boost Your Confidence & Break Down Limiting Self-Labels
Slob. Smarty. Sneaky. Selfish.
Have you noticed how simple words can really shift not just how you view yourself but how you view others around you? And to make matters worse, what happens when people try to summarize you in a single adjective based on a stressful or successful moment? Personally, I know depending on my mood – even the right word said at the wrong time can really mess up my mojo.
As an entrepreneur coach, I know how important it is to feel good about ourselves. Leaders like you need to be on their A-game constantly if they want to succeed. And one thing that really affects how we feel is the labels we put on ourselves or that others put on us.
Leaders like you need to be on their A-game constantly if they want to succeed. And one thing that really affects how we feel is the labels we put on ourselves or that others put on us.
First, let’s talk about why you or someone you know struggles with their self-confidence. And it all starts with the people we associate with.
Limiting Labels: How Rarely They Boost Your Confidence
Did you ever watch the movie ‘Heathers’? I’m mentioning it because, just like in ‘Heathers,’ people often get stuck with labels based on just a couple of things about them. Everyone ends up seeming one-dimensional, judged only on whether they’re liked or not.
Does something like that happen to you? Have you ever been quickly labeled as either good, bad, or worse? If so, I’m sorry to hear that.
In my practice, I’ve learned that these kinds of words often come from the people you need the most to help you feel good about yourself.
Feeling Low Despite Flying High Professionally
When I chat with clients battling worry, feeling low, or not valuing themselves, they usually don’t talk about their own mess-ups but how they think they’ve let others down.
And it feels like there’s no end to the list of people who have shamed, condemned, critiqued, or outright vilified them. Can you relate? Some of my clients have been overly exalted or downright demonized by:
- Teachers
- Parents
- Clients
- Lovers
- Investors
- Siblings
- Children
Oh my, oh my! That is a lot of pressure. And to make matters worse, some of my clients feared they would fail me as their coaching client!
Being fearful of rejection can really take a toll on your mind if you feel you’ve made one too many mistakes.
Here I am, talking with smart business folks, investors, and leaders who tell me they feel like a fake, that their wins are just a cover, and that it could all fall apart anytime. I wish I could reach through my screen and give them a hug as they get teary-eyed, feeling so down.
We understand that others’ opinions can make us feel bad about ourselves, but what happens afterward? In the next part, we’ll discuss how thinking badly about ourselves affects various parts of our lives.
It's important to notice when we're thinking negatively and try to see ourselves in a better light. This helps us feel better and improves how we relate to others.
How Thinking Badly About Ourselves Affects Everything
Ever noticed how if people keep saying stuff about you, you might start thinking it’s true? Suppose folks who say they care about you call you “crazy” or “stupid,” you might start feeling that way.
You may think, “Because they care about me and I trust their authority, that means it’s true.” Then these harsh and sometimes cruel words, often said in moments of frustration and stress, turn into facts in our heads, even if they’re totally wrong.
But what happens to our relationships? Let’s talk about that more in this section.
Struggles with Low Self-Esteem: How Your Personal Relationships Suffer
In personal relationships, if you always feel bad about yourself, it will change how you talk with others. Imagine you think you’re not smart or fun. Maybe you are feeling pretty low right now about stuff that is happening that feels overwhelming, stressful, or discouraging. Life can be hard at times.
So, if you are not in a good headspace, it is normal that you might not want to join conversations or share your ideas.
Thoughts of feeling unworthy, like a screw-up, or worse, play in your mind more times than you wish to admit. This could make you feel alone or like you don’t fit in with others.
If you don't feel good about yourself, it can affect every part of your life. Instead of seeing opportunities, you will see constant obstacles. And after a while, constant discouragement can limit not just your creativity but also your efforts.
Struggles with Low Self-Esteem: Work Disaffection and Stalled Professional Growth
If you don’t feel good about yourself, it can affect your work life as well. For example, if you don’t believe in your abilities or think you can’t achieve your goals, you might avoid trying new things or looking for ways to grow your business. This could stop you from moving forward in your career and becoming the best leader or entrepreneur you can be.
To sum up, feeling down about ourselves can make it tough to connect with others and move ahead, both at work and in our personal lives.
If you don’t feel good about yourself, it will affect every part of your life. Instead of seeing opportunities, you will see constant obstacles. And after a while, constant discouragement can limit not just your creativity but also your efforts.
With that all being said, it’s important to notice when we’re thinking negatively and try to see ourselves in a better way in and out the office. This can help us feel better and improve our relationships with others. Now, let’s talk about ways to boost your confidence, especially if you don’t have someone to guide you.
Overcome Limiting Labels: Six Tips to Boost Your Confidence
Set Achievable Goals: Start with small goals that you know you can accomplish. As you achieve them, you’ll build confidence and feel more capable of tackling bigger challenges.
Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and acknowledge your accomplishments, no matter how small. Some of us have to work harder than others to overcome a limiting mindset that comes from a poor life script. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: When you notice yourself thinking negatively about yourself, challenge those thoughts. This is key to building your confidence. Ask yourself if they’re really true or if there’s another way to look at the situation.
Seek Mentorship: Look for mentors or coaches like myself who can offer guidance, support, and encouragement. We can provide valuable advice in order that you develop the skills you need to succeed.
Focus on Personal Growth: Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own progress and growth. Celebrate your achievements and recognize the steps you’ve taken towards your goals.
Take Care of Yourself: Make self-care a priority by getting enough rest, eating healthily, and engaging in activities that bring you joy. When you take care of yourself, you’ll feel better both mentally and physically.
This is not a one-and-done thing. Keep this list handy and review the areas you think you need to focus on. Then, come up with a plan to regularly review your work on building up your self-worth and confidence. The image below summarizes my tips. Next, I will share my final thoughts.
Final thoughts
So, to sum up, the words we hear or say to ourselves can really shape how we feel about ourselves and how we get along with others. But we can make a change! By understanding how words affect us and trying to think more positively, we can feel better about ourselves and have better relationships.
Looking for more advice on boosting your confidence? Try one or all of these habits designed to increase your self-esteem and self-worth.
And if you’re struggling with feeling down about yourself or just need someone to talk to, don’t be afraid to reach out. Let’s work together to make you feel happier and more confident. And remember to listen to my episode from my entrepreneur podcast for more tips on feeling good about yourself and feeling empowered. You’ve got this!
