Building Confidence: 6 Habits that Will Transform Your Life

Confidence is an elusive thing that many people desire, yet few embody. There are numerous YouTube channels, blogs, and other sources that can help you build your confidence. 

Some self-styled “confidence coaches” even offer tips on how to be more attractive to the opposite sex. However, what is confidence, and what does it truly mean to you? For me, confidence means having the ability to understand myself at such an inner level that I have no worries or fears about how people will interpret my actions.

As a life coach for entrepreneurs, I know that confidence is a significant issue for my clients. That is why, in this article, we will discuss six tips for building confidence that will help you grow as a business owner and a person.

First, let’s talk about why we can and should grow our inner confidence.

Why is growing your confidence necessary?

The other day, my husband and I attended a multi-day parenting workshop. We arrived late, and all the choice seats were already taken, so we chose a table that was close to the stage and at an angle. Later, a shy and guarded couple joined us. They were tight-lipped about their life, and they focused mostly on their children. However, my husband and I freely shared our life, our values, and the reasons behind our parenting decisions. We also made sure to tell jokes, poke fun at ourselves, and try to make the evening as pleasant as possible. Toward the end of the two-day workshop, my husband Hoiwai and I noticed how relaxed and comfortable this once-aloof couple had become. They matched and mirrored us with jokes and friendly banter.

At this point, you may be asking yourself, “What is the point of this story?” Great question! Confidence is contagious! 

Our positivity and confidence helped to bring a positive and upbeat atmosphere to our conversations, and the once-shy couple responded positively to it. Nobody wants to hang around someone who looks like they have a rain cloud hanging over their head. The magnetism that comes from confidence helps to create an optimistic environment.

If you want to influence your world, improve your mental outlook, and live a better life, confidence-building is not optional. Confidence is the inner assurance that one has worth and value. Even if someone else doesn’t know their worth, you have enough confidence to carry everyone, including yourself, through sad or difficult times. Confident people are the vanguard of all productive societies or groups. 

Next, let’s talk about how you can be more confident.

Confident people are the vanguard of all productive societies or groups.

As stated at the beginning of this article, everyone wants to be confident; yet, few know how to obtain it. Here are some suggestions designed to help you build inner confidence.

Building Confidence Tips

1) Take more risks

Anyone seeking emotional growth must have the courage to explore new things. This includes challenging assumptions, raising standards for themselves, and, in some cases, removing harmful people and things from their life. 
It can be scary when we plunge into new and unfamiliar experiences, and we may be tempted to give up early due to the lack of experience and support. Many of us want a safe and predictable path to follow, but life rarely offers a roadmap.
I understand why you may avoid risks. This is especially true if you were raised in a family filled with cowardly people – those same people who wouldn’t change their plans unless someone or something forced them to alter their behavior.
But consider this: if you attended a social event filled with different people, who would be more interesting to talk to? Those who ventured off into new and foreign places or those who stayed with the predictable and reliable? People who took risks are fascinating as well as more confident!
Go bite sized with your risks
The next question you may be asking yourself is, “How do I take risks? They are scary!” Well, you can start with calculated risks. 
You can start small by restarting a hobby you enjoy, going somewhere new, or learning a new language. Try to find exciting experiences that are also challenging activities designed to help you grow mentally.
For example, if you’re interested in dating after being single for a while, it’s not necessary to create a new account on a dating app. Instead, attend group social functions where you and others can do enjoyable activities. There, you can meet other eligible single adults in a relaxed and social environment.
Or if you’re looking to try something new in your business, see if you can commit to a 30-90 day trial period.

Being brave doesn't necessarily require a radical change, but it does involve having a radical perspective towards change.

2) Stay curious

Curiosity is what makes people more interesting. They delve into subjects and ideas that others may not know. This curiosity helps to cultivate lively and engaging conversations.

To promote curiosity, try to read content from sources you wouldn’t typically explore at least once a week. For example, if you’re into marketing, read a science magazine. If you write content about science, learn about woodworking. Explore different and interesting topics.

3) Focus on the present 

See the positive in all things 

Happiness is not something that happens to you; it is about how you relate to the things happening around you. Many people believe that fame and fortune are the keys to happiness. However, how many stories have you heard of multimillionaire celebrities with more money than they know what to do with, living miserable lives? There has to be a better way to live.

Rather than searching for fleeting moments of happiness, we should focus on being joyful, meaning that we can see the good in all sorts of situations. Optimistic people are also more attractive.

Therefore, when something bad happens, make it a habit to think of the positive things that have happened to you along the way. One helpful habit is to keep reminding yourself throughout the day of your achievements, both big and small. When feeling discouraged, it’s easy to forget how much you’ve grown and overcome. Keep reminding yourself of all the ways you’ve grown.

4) Network with Positive People 

As a human, you cannot be an island unto yourself. You are, by nature, a social creature. Even if you feel scared, afraid, or timid, make an effort to connect with people in the real world – yes, the real world.

When we interact with people in person, we can improve our body language and social skills, thereby increasing our confidence. Make it a practice to regularly interact with confident and optimistic people. While nobody can be positive and cheerful 100% of the time, we can learn through observation of others, how to be resilient to challenging circumstances. Besides, you might learn something new along the way through your interactions.

Often times, we have a vision in our mind about what “confidence” looks like. Unfortunately, that can conflict with reality. We need to talk with people who demonstrate confidence.

Start associating with confident people. Learn from their example. Their input will help you to manage your expectations.

If you can’t speak to someone, watch YouTube videos, or read books or blogs or listen to my podcasts (like mine!). Each source will help you see what’s realistic for a beginner with your background or experience.

Confidence is earned, and can never be faked, rented or borrowed. It comes from doing the daily work consistently and with a cheerful and optimistic attitude.

5) Prioritize self-care

If we can be good stewards of our body, mind, and soul, we can, in turn, allow ourselves the courage to try new and interesting things. 

Daily grooming habits, such as brushing your teeth and wearing presentable clothing, show that you value yourself and care about how you appear to others. This increases your confidence and automatically makes you more attractive to others.

Develop the habit of pre-planning your activities and outfits in the morning to save time and invest in the things that matter most to you.

Lastly, don’t neglect preventative or prophylactic measures like regular teeth cleanings, annual physicals, or age- and gender-related tests (such as colon exams or mammograms). Here are links to check for the recommended tests for women and men.

6) Be consistent 

I remember one of my first coaches telling me that no matter how my life was going, I should never forget to make my bed. I asked, “Why does that matter?” and my coach replied, “If you cannot be consistent with the little things, how can God bless you with the big things?”

Confident people are present and mindful. This means they show up for themselves, even when nobody is holding them accountable. Are you accountable to yourself on the issues that matter most to you, your family, business, and life? Many people lack confidence because they don’t believe that their actions matter.

Now is the time for you to examine the neglected parts of your life. Here are some things to think about:

  1. Where are you dropping the ball or being inconsistent?
  2. Do you need accountability? If so, how do you want to be held accountable? 
  3. What is the cost of your inconsistency in terms of time, money, and social relationships?
In the next section, I will share with you my final thoughts regarding how to build confidence.
A person sitting at a desk with a laptop.

Final Thoughts on Building Confidence

I wish there were a store where confidence was bottled up and could be sold. The fact of the matter is that confidence is something that needs to be earned through intentional effort. Taking risks, thinking optimally, and investing in personal development are just some of the ways to build confidence. Ultimately, it relies on your conviction to abandon a faulty yet comfortable life script in favor of something newer and better.

If you need help growing emotionally in this area of confidence, don’t hesitate to contact me.

Dig deeper: Click here to listen to this episode from my podcast about confidence building or press the play button below.


The information in this article is for informational purposes only. No material in this article or website is to be a substitute for professional medical and/or mental health advice, diagnosis or treatment.

Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you read from me or anyone else online.

Also, this article is not designed to diagnose or treat you or anyone with a suspected mental health illness. Please, if you need help, seek appropriate help from a lawyer, health care provider or law enforcement officer.

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