Compulsive Behavior: What Every Business Owner Needs to Know
Hi there, I’m a life and business coach. My job is to help leaders like you find success while also keeping a good balance between work and life. One topic that comes up a lot in my work is compulsion. Sometimes, we might not even realize what that means because everyone around us seems to be moving so fast. But as a leader, it’s important to understand that uncontrolled habits can hurt not only your business but also your personal life.
That’s why in this article, we’ll discuss what compulsive behavior is, how it’s different from addiction, and offer some useful tips for finding a healthy balance in work and life. First, let’s dive into what compulsive behavior really looks like.
What IS Compulsive Behavior?
Compulsive behavior is when you feel a strong need to do certain things over and over. Doing these things can make you feel better for a little while, but they can mess up your life if you don’t control them.
For example in business, you may have a compulsive habit of constantly checking your email or your business stats. While checking stats can be useful, doing it too often might not really help your business much.
Think of compulsions like scratching an itch. You feel a strong urge to scratch, and it gives you a bit of relief, but if you keep scratching, you can hurt yourself. Addiction, on the other hand, is like constantly wearing a tight bandage to cover a wound. It might hide the pain for a while, but it becomes a part of your daily life and can cause more problems in the long run.
In business, we often hear that we should focus on delivering high quality and making more money. While aiming for excellence is important, if this drive becomes an obsession, it can cause serious problems.
Next, let’s discuss why addiction is similar to compulsive behavior in more detail.
Compulsive Behavior is Not the Same as Addiction
Compulsive behavior and addiction can be mixed up, but they’re actually quite different. Addiction usually means you rely on a substance like drugs or alcohol, either physically or mentally. You can also become addicted to people, which is called codependency.
Think of compulsions like scratching an itch. You feel a strong urge to scratch, and it gives you a bit of relief, but if you keep scratching, you can hurt yourself.
Addiction, on the other hand, is like constantly wearing a tight bandage to cover a wound. It might hide the pain for a while, but it becomes a part of your daily life and can cause more problems in the long run.
Addictions need complete devotion to the desired object or idea
For example, if you have addiction to free stuff, you might spend a lot of time searching for information online, even when you already have reliable answers.
You might ignore complaints about being too busy looking for info, which can cause issues. This shows an addictive habit of constantly seeking validation through gathering information. It is not one specific behavior but a whole lifestyle of hopping from one source to another.
Both behaviors can be harmful, but compulsive behavior is trickier because it can seem like you’re just being really diligent or dedicated, especially in business. You can read more about the differences in this article.
Next, let’s talk about some specific examples of compulsive behavior at work.
Compulsion at Work
In the 2015 movie “The Intern,” we see a clear example of compulsive behavior. The plot follows a 70-year-old widower, Ben Whittaker (played by Robert De Niro), who becomes a senior intern at a fashion website. He forms an unlikely friendship with the company’s workaholic CEO, Jules Ostin (played by Anne Hathaway).
Jules is constantly inspecting how clothes are folded and packed. To corporate America, her attention to detail is great, but it comes at a high cost. Her husband feels increasingly neglected due to her ambitious nature. Jules’s masculine energy of doing, striving, controlling, and commanding crowds out her husband’s efforts to connect with her. Ben, a retired executive, helps Jules find balance.
The movie ends with Jules realizing she needs to make drastic changes to save her marriage. But real life isn’t always as forgiving as movies.
Real-Life Examples of CEOs Ruining Their Personal Lives
There are plenty of examples of CEOs and business owners whose excessive behaviors have harmed their personal lives. Take Steve Jobs, for example. He was obsessed with making Apple’s products perfect, which strained his relationships with family and friends. Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, also faced personal problems, possibly because he was so focused on his business.
Then there’s Marissa Mayer, who used to be the CEO of Yahoo. She made headlines for working incredibly long weeks, sometimes up to 130 hours. While she achieved a lot at work, people wondered if such a hectic schedule was sustainable and if it affected her health and relationships.
Compulsion impacts the academic world too
And don’t think this is limited to just business owners. Even in the academic world, compulsive behaviors can ruin your life. In a three-part series, the WSJ uncovered the downfall of a once-respected antitrust lawyer.
Joshua Wright, once a leading figure in antitrust law, saw his career unravel due to his compulsive sexual behaviors. He juggled multiple extramarital affairs, including with his students at George Mason University, leveraging his position to maintain these relationships.
The downfall began with a breakup text to Elyse Dorsey, one of his former mistresses, who exposed his misconduct. This led to widespread allegations of sexual harassment and abuse of power, ultimately costing Wright his consulting business, university position, and reputation.
Now that we’ve discussed real and made-up examples of compulsive behavior, let’s look at what causes these habits. Understanding this might make you feel better if you’ve been blaming yourself for lacking willpower.
When basic needs aren't met now or even during their childhood, some people try to make up for it by overdoing other things, like work or success.
Causes of Compulsive Behavior
Now that we know what compulsive behavior is and have seen some examples, let’s talk about why people develop these tendencies.
1. Tough Childhood
Growing up without enough love, safety, or attention can lead to compulsive behavior. When basic needs aren’t met, some people try to make up for it by overdoing other things, like work or success.
2. Lots of Stress
Feeling stressed all the time can make you do things compulsively. When you’re always on edge, your brain looks for ways to feel better, even if it’s not healthy.
3. Wanting to Everything to Be Perfect
Wanting everything to be perfect can make you act compulsively. When you feel like nothing’s good enough, you might keep trying too hard to reach an impossible goal.
4. Scared of Failing
Being scared of failing can push you to do things compulsively. Especially in business, where there’s a lot of pressure to succeed, you might end up working too much and getting too obsessed with every little detail.
5. No Boundaries
Not having clear boundaries between work and personal life can make you work too much. If work takes over everything, you might start working compulsively because you never take time to relax.
Now that we’ve talked about why compulsive behavior happens, let’s see what can go wrong if you don’t get help for it. We’ll cover that in the next section.
The Impact in Business and Life
Compulsive behavior can really mess up both your business and personal life if you don’t do something about it. Here are some ways unchecked compulsions will hurt you.
Feeling Burned Out
Working too much without breaks leads to burnout. It makes you less productive, creative, and happy with your job. Plus, it can cause serious health problems like depression and constant tiredness.
Strained Relationships
Compulsive behavior often strains relationships with family, friends, and coworkers. Your loved ones might feel ignored, leading to fights and maybe even breaking up friendships or relationships.
Less Productive
Even though you might think being compulsive makes you more productive, it usually does the opposite. Trying too hard to be perfect can slow down your decision-making and make you overthink everything.
Health Troubles
Working too much and being stressed all the time can make you sick. It can lead to heart problems, high blood pressure, and trouble sleeping. And when you’re not healthy, you can’t run your business as well.
If you are reading this list and thinking, “I need more balance in my life,” read the next section where I share some ideas to stop compulsive habits or behaviors.
How to Stop Compulsive Behavior
To keep a good balance between work and life, it’s important to understand and deal with compulsive behavior. Here are some simple steps to help you manage these tendencies:
Know Yourself and Set Limits
If work is impacting your personal life negatively, it is time to set some limits. Be clear about when it is time to clock in and out. If necessary, use apps that will lock you out from accessing your email account or other applications.
Get Support
Often, we don’t like admitting that something is getting a little out of hand. But seeking support from a therapist or professional like myself is actually a sign of strength.
Stay Present and Pause
Sometimes it feels like we need to do everything all at once or else everything will burn down. Unless you work in emergency services, that is unlikely. Take the time to slow down. One tip is to practice mindfulness. It will help you to manage stress while putting your current problems in their proper perspective.
Focus on Progress and Take Breaks
Often, ambitious leaders never take a moment to pause and reflect. And if you don’t do that, you will develop a habit of ignoring your wins. Instead of constantly stressing about where you are, take the time to appreciate what you have done. Take time to celebrate small achievements instead of pursuing perfection.
Be Healthy
Are you regularly exercising? Doing your yoga, kickboxing, or rock climbing? If not, pencil that into your calendar! Maintain healthy habits like exercise and proper sleep while setting realistic goals for yourself and your business. This will help you release stress in a healthy way while keeping your body strong.
Share the Load
I know you built your business initially alone, but that doesn’t mean you have to do it all. Trust your team and delegate tasks. This helps not only to lessen your workload but also helps your team members feel more confident about themselves as they take on harder tasks.
The image below summarizes these healthy habits. Finally, I’ll end with my final thoughts.
Final thoughts
I hope by reading this article you know how compulsions will hurt your business and personal life. But if you can see the signs and take steps to handle them, you can find a better balance between work and life. Don’t wait for things to become a disaster before asking for help.
If you’re ready to make your business better while still keeping a balanced life, I’m here to support you. Don’t hesitate to contact me. As your coach we will create a plan that suits the lifestyle that supports your mental health.
And listen to this episode from my entrepreneurial podcast, where I talk about ways to grow your business and learn from others who have succeeded.
