Creating Lasting Bonds: Exploring the Power of New Friendships
Hey there, amazing souls! I’m Denise G. Lee, your friendly neighborhood life coach for business owners. You know, the one who’s all about helping you thrive in your personal and professional life. In this article, let’s dive into something that’s close to my heart – the art of making new friends, especially for those of us on the journey of addiction recovery.
Back in the day, I had my fair share of “friends” who, let’s be honest, weren’t exactly the best influences. We’d cheer each other on in destructive behaviors, thinking we were building a bond. But guess what? Real friendship goes beyond the surface.
In this article, I’m here to guide you on finding those genuine connections that uplift and support you. So, why is this so crucial for business owners like you? Well, let’s explore.
Having friends who understand your journey, your struggles, and your triumphs can be a game-changer. They become your sounding board, your cheerleaders, and sometimes, your reality check – all crucial elements in navigating the entrepreneurial rollercoaster.
Importance of Building Healthy Friendships
In the world of business, and in life, relationships matter. And I’m not just talking about the ones you form with clients or partners. Your personal support system plays a significant role in your professional success. Positive friendships can be a driving force, offering encouragement during challenging times and celebrating victories with genuine joy.
As a business owner, you wear many hats, and the pressure can be overwhelming. Having friends who understand your journey, your struggles, and your triumphs can be a game-changer. They become your sounding board, your cheerleaders, and sometimes, your reality check – all crucial elements in navigating the entrepreneurial rollercoaster.
Why is it hard for business owners in recovery to find friendships? Isn’t it the same for anyone else? Well, yes and no. In the next section, I will explain the unique challenges business owners face when trying to build personal and professional relationships.
Nobody wants to be judged for things they did that they regret. So, it feels safer to be alone. And while that may feel safe, it sure isn't fun or healthy for us long term.
Eight Reasons Why It Is Hard for Business Owners to Find Friends
Making friends while recovering from a rough patch as a business owner can be tricky. There are a bunch of reasons why it’s not as easy as it sounds:
1. No Time:
This is by far the most common reason. You know that running a business is like being on a non-stop rollercoaster. It takes up so much time and energy that there’s hardly any left for personal stuff. So, finding time for friends during recovery becomes a bit of a puzzle.
2. Scared of Being Judged:
Business people often worry about what others in the business world will think. If you admit you’re going through a tough time with addiction and other some other difficulty, some might see it as a weakness. This fear of judgment can make it tough to open up and ask for support.
3. Feeling Alone and Stressed:
Being an entrepreneur can be pretty lonely. The stress of managing a business can make people want to keep to themselves. This isolation makes it hard to build friendships because there aren’t many chances to connect with others.
4. Lifestyle Differences:
Business owners in recovery might have different lifestyles compared to their pals. If their old friends were all about partying and using substances, it’s tough to keep those connections. Finding new friends who live a healthier life takes time and effort.
5. Not Everyone Gets It:
Not everyone understands what it’s like to recover from addiction, especially in the business world. Business owners might hesitate to share their struggles because they’re afraid of being judged or not understood. This lack of understanding makes it tricky to make real connections.
6. Rebuilding Trust Takes Time:
Sometimes, business owners in recovery have messed up relationships in the past because of their addiction. Rebuilding trust is like putting together a delicate puzzle, and some folks might be hesitant to make new connections until they feel more secure in their recovery.
7. Limited Hangout Spots:
Business events usually involve hanging out where there’s alcohol. This can be a challenge for those in recovery, as it might trigger cravings or just feel uncomfortable. Finding other places to socialize without the temptation of substances can be hard.
8. Dealing with Shame and Stigma:
There’s often a feeling of shame connected to addiction. Business owners might carry guilt and shame, making it tough to be open and share their recovery journey. Getting past this stigma is super important for building real connections.
Regardless of whether you are just beginning your recovery and healing journey or looking to build better personal development skills, I’ve got you. In this next section, we will discuss some practical tips for you to find new friends who understand you and your unique background.
10 Steps to Make New Friendships
Now, let’s get practical. How do you go about making these meaningful connections? Lucky for you, I’ve got some simple, down-to-earth suggestions that even the busiest business owner can weave into their schedule.
1. Discover Who You Are
Now is the time to find who you are. This is where you find joy in stuff you love doing. Whether it’s joining a sports group, a book club, or an art class, doing things that make you excited naturally gets you closer to people who like the same things. If you’re not sure where to start, here are some simple tips to help you rediscover yourself:
How to Rediscover Your Passions
a. Think Back to When You Were a Kid:
Remember what you loved doing as a kid. What games or hobbies did you do just because you liked them? The things you enjoyed back then might be hints about what you truly love.
b. Try Different Stuff:
Give new things a shot, even if you haven’t thought about them before. Go to workshops, classes, or events about different things. Trying out new stuff can help you figure out what you really enjoy.
c. Write It Down:
Keep a journal where you write about things that make you happy or moments when you forget about time. After a while, you might see patterns that show what you’re truly interested in.
d. Think About What You’re Good At:
Reflect on what you’re good at. What comes naturally to you? Often, the things you’re good at are connected to what you love. See how you can include these strengths in what you’re interested in.
e. Take Some Fun Tests:
Use tests that tell you about your personality or strengths. These tests can give you ideas about what you like, what’s important to you, and what you’re good at.
f. Let Yourself Dream:
Imagine a life where you’re doing something you love. Picture what that looks like. Daydreaming about your ideal life can help you understand what you’re passionate about.
g. Check What You Do Every Day:
Look at what you do every day. What activities make you happy during your free time? Recognizing what brings you joy can guide you to your passions.
h. Try Small Projects:
Start little projects related to things you find interesting. These projects are like tests that help you see how much you enjoy and commit to something.
2. Volunteer Work:
Addiction did a great job keeping us alone and isolated. We only thought about our problems and how miserable we felt about everyone and everything, which naturally led us to depression and many other bad things. Pulling away from that requires thinking about things that are not all about us.
Now is the time to contribute to a cause close to your heart. Volunteering not only allows you to give back but also introduces you to people who share your values and commitment to making a positive impact.
3. Attend Social Events:
Keep an eye on local events. Fairs, festivals, and community gatherings provide casual settings to strike up conversations and potentially meet your future ride-or-die friends.
In the beginning of my own recovery journey, I read through the local newspaper and through social media to see if there were any local events in my community. They helped me break through the lie that “nothing is happening around me.”
4. Networking through Existing Connections:
Leverage your current connections. Attend events with friends of friends – you never know who might become your next confidant or business buddy. A word of caution: make sure you connect with people who show the ability to keep and maintain healthy friendships. You don’t want to ruin your recovery all in the name of people-pleasing and codependency.
5. Join Clubs or Groups.
Whether it’s a fitness class, a gaming group, or a discussion club, organized groups offer a space to connect with individuals who share similar interests.
A word of caution: Remember, the goal isn’t necessarily to find best friends or your next new romantic partner; it’s about enjoying yourself alongside people who share common interests. Also, please don’t expect them to be aligned with all of your interests. Putting that kind of expectation can set you up for disappointment if you are not careful. I wrote about expectations in the social media post below. Click the link to join the conversation!
Question: Why is it hard for some people to make friends?
— Denise G. Lee (@DeniseGLee) October 2, 2024
It all comes down to intent.
The other day, I was talking with a client—he’s a real go-getter, a type A personality. If he’s not connecting with people who are focused on growing their businesses, he feels there’s really… pic.twitter.com/siVhHA3Lme
6. Classes or Workshops:
Invest in your personal growth. Sign up for classes or workshops related to skills you want to develop, creating opportunities for connections with like-minded learners. Similarly to the earlier step, keep the focus on learning, not just on finding people to spend time with outside of the class..
7. Be Open and Approachable:
Sometimes, friendships blossom unexpectedly. Be open to conversations in your daily life, whether it’s at work, in your neighborhood, or while waiting in line. A simple smile or hello can be the first step. Also, look people in the eyes. Show that you are approachable through your non-verbal body language.
8. Initiate Plans:
Once you’ve found someone you vibe with, take the initiative. Suggest plans or activities, showcasing your interest in building a deeper connection. And don’t be upset if they cannot or do not make plans. Some of us haven’t developed initiative due to the fear of rejection.
9. Be Patient:
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither are lasting friendships. Close friendships can take at least 200 or more hours to cultivate. It all depends on the interest level of you and the other person, as well as the amount of time each person is willing to invest.
Be patient and realistic, and allow relationships to evolve naturally. Regardless of the outcome, cherish the growth and learning that each interaction brings.
10. Challenge Old Messages:
Those of us who have been hurt badly from past bad experiences are hesitant, if not avoidant, of making new friendships. We don’t want to experience the same hurt and pain that led us to addiction.
However, if you want to heal, you need people and support. Challenging old messages involves reminding yourself of the tools you have now and recognizing that this situation and these people are different from those in the past. This isn’t easy; that’s why I recommend you find the support that will help you best.
The image below summarizes my tips for finding new friends, and in the next section, I will share my final thoughts.
Final Thoughts
As you embark on the journey of finding new friends, remember this – breaking away from the familiar might be scary, but the potential for positive and supportive friendships is worth every effort. Your confidence will grow as you challenge unhealthy ideas about yourself and your worth.
Your personal growth and professional success are intricately tied to the quality of your connections. And hey, if you find yourself craving a guide on this journey or a friendly face to share your wins and challenges, I’m here for you. Don’t hesitate to send me a message.
Dig deeper on this issue by listening to this entrepreneur episode from my podcast.
