Overcoming Stress: How to Stay Present When Tensions Run High
As a healing and leadership coach, I’ve seen firsthand how crucial it is for leaders and business owners to master the art of staying present, especially when stress levels are soaring. And to make it worse, too many of us are easily rattled by others. On top of the noise in our heads about what we think we should or shouldn’t do, people often do things that seem unpredictable, strange, or downright inconsistent. So, what do you do? Lose your mind in the midst of the confusion? I hope not!
In today’s fast-paced business world, the ability to remain calm and focused under pressure can make all the difference between success and failure. This article will explore effective strategies for overcoming stress and maintaining presence, even in the most challenging situations. First, I want to share with you a personal story of seeing how we can lose track ourselves all in the name of productivity.
Finding Presence in Chaos: Lessons from the Pantry
Let me share a personal experience that illustrates the power of staying present when tensions run high:
I volunteer at a food and clothing pantry, specifically in the infants’ section, where we provide clothing to parents in need. This is a photo of me with some other volunteers.
One day, I overheard a heated argument unfolding about 500 feet away from where I was working. A client was shouting, “Why do you have to be so rude?” while a volunteer responded defensively, “Didn’t you listen to what X said?”
In that moment, I had a choice. I could have ignored the situation, gotten stressed about the disruption, or reacted with frustration. Instead, I chose to stay present and respond with empathy. I walked towards the scene, smiled, and simply asked, “Can I help take some of the hangers off?”
The volunteer’s anger seemed to dissipate as they smiled back. Then, turning to the frustrated customer, I said, “You have such a nice smile. I know things aren’t easy. How can I help you?”
This small act of presence and kindness helped defuse the tension and reminded everyone involved of our shared humanity. It’s easy to lose sight of who is in front of us when we’re busy trying to work, work, and work some more.
But by staying present and showing others we care, we can transform difficult situations into opportunities for connection and understanding. Now, let’s talk about you and why being calm matters to you as a leader and business owner.
Why This Issue Matters for Leaders and Business Owners
37% Chance of Losing Your Mind
According to research, when you’re stressed, our ability to make good decisions drops by about 37%. That’s because stress makes it harder to think clearly and focus on what matters most.
While 37% may not seem like a huge number, every decision counts when you’re running a business. As a business owner, you need to be in the driver’s seat, making clear, thoughtful choices that align with your goals. Letting stress take over means giving up that control—and that’s a risk no business can afford to take. Prioritizing stress management isn’t just good for your well-being; it’s crucial for the health and success of your business.
And I get it. As a business owner and leader, stress is always around the corner. You can’t avoid tough situations or making hard choices. But letting stress take over can lead to bad decisions, hurt relationships, and even business failure. That’s why it’s so important to learn how to stay present and manage stress. It’s a must for anyone who wants to lead well and keep their business on track.
Why Staying Calm Matters
When you’re able to stay present, you:
- Make clearer, more rational decisions
- Communicate more effectively with your team and clients
- Spot opportunities that others might miss
- Inspire confidence in those around you
- Handle challenges with grace and composure
- Maintain a better work-life balance
All of these factors contribute to your success as a leader and the overall health of your business. Let’s dive deeper into understanding stress and how to overcome it.
Understanding Stress: The Science & Psychology Behind It
To effectively overcome stress, it’s helpful to understand what’s happening in your body when you’re under pressure. When you encounter a stressful situation, your body activates the “fight or flight” response. This triggers the release of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which can:
- Increase your heart rate and blood pressure
- Speed up your breathing
- Tense your muscles
- Sharpen your focus (in the short term)
While this response can be helpful in true emergencies, chronic activation of this stress response can lead to a host of problems, including:
- Decreased productivity
- Poor decision-making
- Weakened immune system
- Sleep problems
- Anxiety and depression
The good news is that by learning to stay present and practicing stress-reduction techniques, you can counteract these negative effects and harness your body’s natural ability to relax and focus.
The Psychology of Presence
But here is some good news. We can slow our roll and calm down. And we can do that by aware of ourselves and our surroundings.
Being present, also known as mindfulness, is the practice of focusing your attention on the current moment without judgment. This state of mind has been studied extensively by psychologists and neuroscientists, who have found numerous benefits:
- Reduced anxiety and depression
- Improved focus and concentration
- Enhanced emotional regulation
- Better decision-making skills
- Increased empathy and compassion
When you’re fully present, you’re better able to respond to situations thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively. This is especially valuable in high-pressure business situations where a calm, clear head can make all the difference.
10 Tips for Overcoming Stress and Staying Present
Now that we understand why overcoming stress and staying present is so important, let’s explore some practical strategies you can use in your daily life and business:
1. Try Deep Breathing
One of the most powerful tools for overcoming stress and staying present is your breath. Research from Cell Reports Medicine has shown that just five minutes of breathwork each day for about a month can reduce anxiety and improve your mood.
When you feel tension rising, try this simple technique:
- Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose, counting to four.
- Hold the breath for a count of four.
- Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of four.
- Repeat this cycle 3-5 times.
This technique, known as “box breathing,” can quickly calm your nervous system and bring you back to the present moment. It’s a discreet method you can use anytime, anywhere – even in the middle of a stressful meeting.
2. Use Grounding Techniques
Grounding techniques help you connect with your physical surroundings, pulling you out of stressful thoughts and back to the present.
Grounding exercises, like the 5-4-3-2-1 method, have been found to improve emotional regulation by stimulating your nerves in your sympathetic nervous system. This will help you escape from panic thinking and allow you to stay calm and think clearly in tough moments. Here is how to do it:
- Name 5 things you can see
- Name 4 things you can touch
- Name 3 things you can hear
- Name 2 things you can smell
- Name 1 thing you can taste
This exercise engages all your senses, effectively anchoring you in the present moment and overcoming stress. Below is a short video that explains how to do that.
3. Cultivate Self-Awareness
Developing self-awareness is key to overcoming stress and staying present. Start paying closer attention to your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations throughout the day. Notice when you’re getting caught up in worries about the future or regrets about the past. By recognizing these patterns, you can gently guide your attention back to the present moment.Try setting reminders on your phone to do quick “check-ins” with yourself throughout the day. Ask yourself:
- How am I feeling right now?
- Where is my attention focused?
- Am I holding any tension in my body?
4. Practice Active Listening
In business, effective communication is crucial. Leaders who practice active listening are more likely to build strong team relationships and reduce misunderstandings.
Moreover, active listening is a powerful way to stay present and build stronger relationships with your team and clients. When someone is speaking to you:
- Give them your full attention
- Avoid interrupting or planning your response while they’re talking
- Ask clarifying questions to ensure you understand
- Summarize what you’ve heard to confirm your understanding
Need more tips? Check out an earlier article I wrote about it. Just like any other skill, it takes time to develop. As humans, we’re more inclined to focus on our inner drama and less on the people in front of us. When you practice active listening, it forces you to stay present and aware of what’s happening. The result? You reduce stress by avoiding misunderstandings.
5. Embrace the Power of Now
Remind yourself regularly that the present moment is all you truly have. The past is gone, and the future hasn’t happened yet. By focusing on what’s happening right now, you can reduce anxiety about what might happen and regret over what has already occurred.
Try creating a mantra or affirmation that resonates with you, such as “I am here now” or “This moment is all that matters.” Repeat it to yourself when you notice your mind wandering to past or future concerns.
6. Create Mindful Routines
Incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine can help you build the habit of presence. Consider:
- Starting your day with a short meditation or mindful breathing exercise
- Taking a mindful walk during your lunch break, paying attention to your surroundings
- Ending your workday with a few minutes of reflection
Consistency is key in overcoming stress and building a habit of presence. Even just 5-10 minutes a day can make a significant difference over time.
7. Use Visual Reminders
Sometimes, we need physical reminders to stay present and overcome stress. Try placing small objects or notes around your workspace that remind you to center yourself. These could be:
- A small stone or crystal that you touch when you need to ground yourself
- A photo that brings you a sense of calm
- A sticky note with an inspiring quote or simple reminder like “Breathe” or “Smile”
These visual cues can serve as powerful anchors, bringing you back to the present moment when stress starts to take over.
8. Practice Gratitude
Regularly acknowledging the things you’re grateful for can shift your focus from stress to appreciation. This simple practice can help you stay grounded in the present and maintain a positive outlook, even in challenging times.
Try keeping a gratitude journal, where you write down three things you’re thankful for each day. Or, make it a habit to share one thing you’re grateful for at the start of team meetings. This not only helps you stay present but can also boost team morale.
9. Avoid Multitasking
In our fast-paced business world, it’s tempting to try to do multiple things at once. However, multitasking can increase stress and make it harder to stay present. Instead:
- Focus on one task at a time
- Use time-blocking techniques to allocate specific periods for different tasks
- Take short breaks between tasks to reset your focus
By giving your full attention to one thing at a time, you’ll likely find that you’re more productive and less stressed overall.
10. Take Regular Breaks
Taking regular breaks throughout your workday is crucial for overcoming stress and maintaining presence. Use these breaks to:
- Practice a quick mindfulness exercise
- Stretch or do some light exercise
- Step outside for some fresh air
- Have a brief, friendly chat with a colleague
These short breaks can help you reset, refocus, and return to your work with renewed energy and presence.
The image below sums up my tips. But you might be thinking, “Well, Denise, this sounds great, but what does that look like in the real world?” Great question! I’m glad you asked. In the next section, I’ll show you how to put these ideas into practice.
Overcoming Stress in the Real-World
Let’s look at how these strategies can be applied in real business situations:
Example 1: High-Stakes Negotiation
You’re in the middle of a crucial negotiation with a potential investor. As the stakes rise, you feel your stress levels increasing. Your mind starts racing, thinking about all the ways this could go wrong.Instead of getting caught up in this anxiety spiral, you:
- Take a deep breath, using the box breathing technique.
- Ground yourself by noticing five things you can see in the room.
- Refocus on actively listening to the investor, giving them your full attention.
- Ask clarifying questions to ensure you understand their perspective.
- Respond thoughtfully, rather than reacting impulsively.
By staying present, you’re able to pick up on subtle cues in the investor’s body language and tone, allowing you to navigate the negotiation more effectively.
Example 2: Team Crisis
Your team is facing a tight deadline for a major project, and tensions are running high. People are starting to panic, and productivity is suffering.Instead of getting swept up in the chaos, you:
- Call a brief team meeting.
- Start with a quick mindfulness exercise, asking everyone to take three deep breaths together.
- Acknowledge the stress everyone is feeling, showing empathy and understanding.
- Calmly discuss priorities, breaking the project down into manageable steps.
- Delegate tasks clearly, ensuring everyone knows their role.
- End the meeting on a positive note, perhaps sharing something you’re grateful for about the team.
By staying present and calm, you’re able to guide your team through the crisis, keeping everyone focused and motivated.
Example 3: Customer Complaint
You receive an angry email from a dissatisfied customer. Your first instinct is to get defensive or fire off a hasty reply.Instead, you:
- Take a moment to breathe and center yourself.
- Read the email carefully, trying to understand the customer’s perspective.
- Practice empathy, considering how you would feel in their situation.
- Draft a thoughtful, compassionate response, addressing their concerns point by point.
- Before sending, take another moment to breathe and review your response.
By staying present and not letting stress dictate your reaction, you’re more likely to resolve the situation positively and potentially turn an unhappy customer into a loyal one.
I hope these examples helped. Next will share my final thoughts.
Final Thoughts
Overcoming stress and staying present isn’t something you achieve once; it’s a skill you build over time. By practicing simple techniques like mindful breathing, active listening, and gratitude, you can find more calm and focus, even when things get tough.
It’s normal to find this challenging. Staying present is hard in a busy, distracting world. Be kind to yourself, take it step-by-step, and celebrate your progress.
If you want to learn more about using these strategies in your business, I’m here to help. As an entrepreneur coach, I offer guidance to help you stay present and focused while navigating the ups and downs of business.
I also encourage you to check out my podcast, where we discuss these topics with successful entrepreneurs who share real-life stories and tips you can use.
Remember Eckhart Tolle’s words: “You create a good future by creating a good present.” So, take a deep breath, stay in the moment, and watch how it transforms your life and business.
