Find Joy: How to Break Free from Resentment and Discover Inner Peace
- Published:
- Updated: April 12, 2024
Don’t you wish you lived in a world where everyone agreed to do and say the things we like? Life would be much easier, right?
Unfortunately, people disappoint, and things break down. If you aren’t careful, you will feel angry and resentful. These emotions remove joy and steal inner peace.
As a life coach for entrepreneurs, I know that joy-filled people are much more successful than those stuck in fear and misery. In this article, we will discuss what causes resentment and, more importantly, how to release it.
What causes feelings of resentment?
Letting go of resentment towards others may feel overwhelming at times, but it is definitely within your reach with the right approach. It first starts with self-reflection and intentional effort to understand what triggers these feelings. I have many courses, like “Amazing Attitude“, which can help you.
By being aware of the warning signs, you can easily redirect your thoughts away from negativity and unhealthy patterns and find joy in all circumstances.
Next, let’s talk about why it is difficult to be positive.
Obstacles to a positive mindset
- Overestimating fears of failure while underestimating your abilities
- Rule a temporary setback as a permanent failure
- Consuming toxic and hate-filled content online or in the real world
- Expecting perfection where none exists
- Magnifying obstacles in the midst of opportunities
- Downplaying your situation while elevating the perceived success of others
- Cognitive distortion or thinking errors like mind reading, labeling, should statements or fallacy of fairness
And here is the most important reason why it is hard to be positive:
✅Expecting people and things to behave perfectly at all times.
The illusion of a perfect world filled with perfect things and people
Unrealistic expectations are the root cause of confusion and chaos in our world today. We often seek individuals who reflect our thoughts and never challenge our beliefs, creating a bubble of like-minded people. However, this can lead to groupthink, where objectivity and perspective are lost.
What’s even worse is that we miss out on valuable opportunities for personal growth and learning, especially from our own experiences.
Next, let’s talk about practical ways to manage our expectations.
Resentment is the ultimate thief of joy. Remove its power by reminding yourself that anger and bitterness are choices.
Managing expectations in stressful and uncomfortable situations
Expectations are something we all deal with, and I’m certainly not exempt. Let me share a recent experience that left me feeling resentful while volunteering at a food and clothing pantry.
During my time volunteering at the clothing pantry, I encountered a situation that posed some challenges in collaborating effectively with another volunteer who had joined me. Despite being informed that there were no specific guidelines on how things should be done, this volunteer seemed to have her own set of rules. It was definitely a test, but I made the conscious decision to refocus on the primary mission of the pantry and let go of any negativity.
All of her guidance and instructions were an extreme turnoff, and I wanted her to leave. But in the end, I chose to refocus and remember the primary mission of the pantry.
Do you struggle with resentment? Here are some steps you can take to work through and let go of resentments:
How to Find Joy
Acknowledge and understand your feelings
Take a moment to acknowledge that you are holding onto resentment and recognize the emotions that come with it. It’s important to understand that holding onto resentment can have negative effects on your own well-being.
Identify the source of resentment
Take some time to reflect on the specific events, actions, or behaviors that may have contributed to your feelings of resentment. Identify the individuals involved and consider the actions they took that may have caused these feelings.
Practice empathy and perspective-taking
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to understand their perspective. If necessary, ask questions to understand why the motivation behind their behavior.
This doesn’t mean you have to justify or condone their actions, but rather gain a broader understanding of their motivations, circumstances, or limitations that may have contributed to their behavior.
Reframe the situation
Question your own perspective and interpretations of the events. Explore alternative explanations or motivations behind other people’s actions. It’s important to remember that sometimes, people’s behaviors are not aimed directly at you, but rather a reflection of their own personal challenges or insecurities.
Acceptance and forgiveness
Understand that what has happened is in the past and cannot be changed. Holding onto resentment will only harm you in the long term. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or approving of the actions, but rather releasing the negative emotions associated with them.
Remove the bitter feelings. It’s time to let them go. If you don’t, all the toxic energy will harm your health.
Focus on self-care and personal growth
Channel your energy towards positive activities and personal development. Participate in activities that bring you happiness, cultivate self-compassion, and make your well-being a priority. This will help shift your attention away from resentment and towards your own personal growth.
Seek support if needed
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by resentment or if it continues to persist despite your best efforts, it might be helpful to reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or even a coach like myself. Next, I will share my final thoughts.
Final Thoughts
Just remember, releasing resentment is a journey that requires time and patience. Take care of yourself as you navigate your emotions and take steps towards healing and moving forward. If you need assistance, don’t hesitate to work with me.
Dig deeper: Need help understanding the source of your anger? Click here to listen to from my podcast about anger or press the play button below.
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