6 Tips to Help You Overcome Self-Doubt & Trust Yourself
Do you ever find yourself hesitating or actively avoiding crucial life decisions? Perhaps you have experienced the aftermath of choosing the opposite of what you know you should have done, leaving you feeling like a fool.
As a life coach for entrepreneurs, I have talked with many clients over the years who have learned to distrust themselves after years of failure. Despite the setbacks and heartache, I have good news!
We can move past the doubt and learn to believe in our abilities. Yes, we can!
In this article, we will discuss why we may have lost our self-confidence and how to rebuild it in a safe and positive way.
Everybody plays the fool...sometimes
How fear makes us make really lousy decisions
As, I mentioned earlier, if you feel unconfident with yourself, your career or any of your decisions, you’re not alone.
Many individuals, myself included, have grappled with the challenge of trusting ourselves to make the right decisions.
I, for one, became acutely aware of this struggle during a period of intense stress that led to my hospitalization at a previous corporate job. Let me tell you what happened.
Staying in a toxic work environment for the “benefits”
I stayed at a bad job because of the health benefits, even though the workplace was harmful. Looking back now, it was a silly choice.
I realized that I needed to quit because I was unhappy and it was hurting me. It was ironic that I stayed at the job to pay for therapy to feel better, but the job was causing me to need therapy. I also used alcohol to numb my pain.
I didn’t believe in myself or my talents to find a job that matched my interests and strengths.
Are you in a situation that is draining your energy, either personally or professionally?
Don’t worry, it’s normal to feel that way sometimes. If so, take heart, there are valid reasons for it. In the next section, we will discuss the reasons why we don’t trust ourselves.
Reasons why we mistrust ourselves
Conditioned to people-please and receive acceptance
This lack of self-trust is a common thread among many, and the reasons behind it are multifaceted. Often, we’ve been influenced by indecisive, insecure, and fearful role models in our lives – whether they be parents, relatives, mentors, or friends. These influencers inadvertently taught us to follow a life script that discourages independent thinking.
Our bodies are feeling, “out of whack” or dysregulated
Our bodies can sometimes feel a bit out of balance. This means they don’t work as smoothly as they should. Also, when we go through a lot of stress for a long time, it can mess with how our bodies work. It’s like our thinking and problem-solving skills get a bit mixed up.
And guess what? If there are people around us who always find something wrong with what we do and keep telling us, it makes things even tougher. It can make us feel like we’re not good at anything and start doubting ourselves a lot.
We know deep down we have been lying to ourselves
Behind the self-doubt to our confidence is a clear mix of self-deceit and lies. Now, you may asking, “Why do we lie to ourselves?”
Well, lies are a form of protection.
Lies are also a form of keeping things predictable and familiar.
When we don’t feel safe with others, and potentially ourselves, we will say things that prevent us from feeling the full brunt of the discomfort and pain.
Reality is too much to bear. So we tell ourselves it’s not bad, they didn’t really mean it, when the reality is this is bad, these people and situations are harmful.
And worse, all that “protection” we place around us make it all the harder for the truth and emotionally healthy people to reach us. It takes time to be honest about our situation before more damage is done.
Confidence is simple, yet it takes work to obtain it. In the next section, we will talk about how to trust yourself.
How to trust yourself: 6 tips that will help you
Learning to trust yourself is a crucial aspect of personal growth and recovery. Here are some steps and reflections that might help you on this journey:
1) Increase Your Self-awareness
Take a moment to think about the choices you’ve made and the things you’ve done in the past. This process will help you to discover yourself and the lessons that life has taught you.
Here are some questions to ask yourself:
- Which decisions do you regret the most? Why?
- What happened as a result of those decisions? Did things turn out the way you expected, or was it different?
- What did you learn from those experiences?
2) Identify Your Past and Present Influences
Let’s take a closer look at the things that have influenced you and might be making it hard for you to trust yourself. These influences could be things that happened to you in the past, people who weren’t so positive around you, or maybe comments from others that made you doubt yourself.
It’s important to recognize these influences. Think about where your lack of self-trust might be coming from.
Maybe something not-so-great happened before, or maybe someone made you feel like you couldn’t rely on yourself. It could even be those voices in your head that say you’re not good enough.
When someone is recovering from a pain-filled past, they go through changes that help them figure out what they really want and why. They also learn ways to not let other people's negative thoughts bring them down and hurt how they feel about themselves.
3) Recite Positive Affirmations DAILY
Here’s a little trick that can brighten your day – positive affirmations. It’s like giving yourself a friendly pep talk. So, every day, remind yourself of the awesome things you’re good at. Tell yourself, “Hey, I’ve got strengths and capabilities that rock!”
And if those sneaky negative thoughts try to creep in – you know, the ones that say, “I always mess things up” – shut them down!
Challenge those thoughts with something positive. Instead, say to yourself, “I’ve got this. I’m totally capable of making good decisions.”
Positive affirmations are like turning the volume up on the positive and drowning out the negative chatter.
4) Create a Mindfulness and Stress Reduction Routine
First up, try adding some mindfulness stuff into your everyday routine. It’s like giving your brain a mini-vacation. Just take a few moments to be right where you are, and it can really chill out the stress.
Next, let’s tackle stress like a superhero. Learn some tricks to manage it so it doesn’t stick around and mess with your decision-making powers. We want you feeling cool, calm, and collected when it’s decision time!
5) Surround Yourself with Supportive People
First, find those buddies who make you feel like a superhero. Build connections with folks who cheer you on and lift you up. And when you’re looking for advice, aim for the helpful kind, not the critical stuff. It’s like creating your own team of positivity to boost your self-trust.
6) Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity
We all make mistakes – it’s totally normal! Instead of getting down about them, think of them as chances to learn cool new things.
Figure out what went a little wonky, how you can do it better next time, and then march forward armed with that smart knowledge. Learning and growing – that’s the name of the game!
In the next section, I will share my final thoughts.
Don't stress over failure; hug it tight. It's like a secret passageway to success, and trust me, there's a sneakily important lesson hidden in there too!
Final Thoughts
Working through past pain may be difficult, but it does not have to be excruciatingly painful. Be kind to yourself and recognize when you are having self-defeating thoughts as a step in the right direction.
Your healing journey will lead you to what you need and require at present, so be patient with yourself. If you require help, do not hesitate to get in touch with me.
Learn more about these issues by listening to this episode from my podcast.
